Going Abstract, Baby!

The Reds#49, 2009, Oil on Birch Panel, 9x6

Over the last year or so I have been pondering which direction to take my paintings in. I felt that I especially wanted to explore the colors and glazes that I so love to use and while I wasn't sure, I thought abstract would be a good direction in that case. I fooled around with some 4x4 squares, and just using one color; pink, red, blue green, etc and then scratching marks into the wet paint. They weren't really doing much for me though and so mostly the squares have been sitting in a pile on one of the tables in my studio all this time. I did send a few to Steven LaRose so that he could do something with them, a collaboration of sorts. Haven't seen anything from him though, so I suspect they are now sitting in a pile on one of the tables in his studio now. Heh.

Anyway, in July while I was preparing my work for the show at Carrie Haddad Gallery (the show is up until Sunday so there is still time to see it!) this caught my eye:

I had just finished this painting and since it is a 36x48 panel, I had to set it on my easel vertically (it is a Horizon Line series painting, meant to be horizontal) so that I could walk around it more easily in order to get to my desk.

So it sat like this for a few days and I couldn't stop looking at it. I kept thinking that it should be a vertical! I yearned for it to be a vertical, but in the end I left it horizontal so that it would be in keeping with the rest of the work in the show.

But.

I knew what I was going to do next! Instead of having my usual post show meltdown, I got right back to work in the studio. The first ones I did were on gessoed paper and were small; 4x8, 6x10 or so and my intent was for them to be long verticals. This worked ok, I was interested enough (somewhat obsessed, actually) by the process and the results to keep going. And Doug was very helpful in explaining to me what he was seeing in them. Which was different and much more involved than what I thought I was doing!
Study, 4x8, Oil on Gessoed Paper

I decided that the next batch would be on panels. Um, just in case they got better (dealing with presenting and/or framing the works on paper stresses me out). As of today, I have done about 30 paintings, including a batch of about a dozen to put in an event at the local arts org. next week. None have been terrible but some are definitely much stronger than others. I am very excited about these works and have a lot of ideas about other directions in which to take them. There has also been much discussion about the orientation of the panels. My intent was that they would all be vertical "stripes" and I painted them like that, but of course many of them simply look better as horizontals. I really wanted to be completely abstract with these, but now I have decided to view them as a bridge from the older work to the new. Doug and I spent some time today discussing which way each of them should be presented. Also turns out that many of them go either way. Heh.
The Reds#48, 2009, Oil on Birch Panel, 9x9

Also working in a more square format (thanks Steven!) helps to make them work better as a vertical image.

Oh and much debate about titles. Oh the titles! I just couldn't bear the thought of having to come up with more titles, 30 right now, today!!! So I decided to simply title the series and number each of them.

I am posting several images here today and will put up more along with my usual posts. Will also be posting them (well, the good ones anyway;)) on my Facebook fan page.

AND. I have a mini new direction already, will post those images next time.
The Reds#55, 2009, Oil on Birch Panel, 6x9

I Need Different Directions

Orange House with Hedge, 2009, Oil on Birch Panel, 6x12

So in the last six years or so, I have done over a thousand paintings (that does NOT include the clunkers, and there were more than a few of those!). My technique is to work fast so actually painting that many isn't such a big deal to me, the big deal is coming up with that many images. I often paint the same subject matter, to make another interpretation of it or to explore it further but yes, also because it is a constant struggle to find new imagery that I respond to enough to want to paint it. And when I look back at the progression of paintings I can see my growth as a painter, all the shifts and changes in palette. I am proud of what I have accomplished in these last several years.

But holy cow, am I ever burned out on this subject matter!!! Once I get started on a painting and get into it, it's fine but lately I have been struggling with the getting started part. I am just not as enthusiastic about the landscapes and barns as I once was and even though I can still do work that I am proud of, I don't like not having the same enthusiasm. Kinda sucks all the fun out the whole painting thing, ya know? I know that I have a few more landscapes, barns and other structures in me, and I will keep painting them, but not to the extent that I have been for the last six years.

As most of you know, I have been fooling around a bit with portraits and while those ARE really exciting to me, they also completely slay me too! They are intense and I can't paint them at the pace that I prefer to paint and plus, up until recently, I have had no venue for them. So whenever I have something else going on, they immediately get put on hold. However, my two galleries have expressed an interest in trying them out and so next month (after the kids are in school and I get my days back;)) I will get to work on them again.
Aunt Bettie Looks Like Margaret Thatcher

However, in the last few months, in between summer activities and shuttling the kids around etc, I have been working on a series of paintings that I am really excited about. Work that is inspired by the landscape but is much more abstract. Again, both of my galleries have expressed an interest in trying them out, and in early September, I will be visiting both to show the work in person.
Still Untitled!, 2009 Oil on Birch Panel, 6x12

Well, this this post has gotten a bit long, and since I have to take one of my daughters shopping at the mall today, I think I will save the rest of the story and images of the new work for next time. And yes, I am purposely not saying that will be tomorrow because clearly I am not able to post on consecutive days anymore. Bleh!

Cool!!

Big, super exciting studio news! We finally installed an air conditioner up here in my attic studio. I tried to delay the inevitable for as long as possible but this week's heat and humidity overwhelmed me.

In the six years we have lived in this house we have never felt the need for AC or even a fan. Our house is old, has thick walls and there are a lot of shade trees surrounding us. The house is also located on a rise, at the opening of a valley, and so it is just a bit cooler (and that includes cooler in the winter too ;)) here, plus we usually have a good breeze through here too. I like having windows open to catch the breezes and also at night the house cools down and retains that coolness for a good part of the day. There are usually a few days each summer though, when it is really, really hot and we are pretty uncomfortable from the heat and humidity. We all walk around grumbling and debating about buying a few fans at least. Usually though, by the time we decide to do that, the intense heat passes and we forget about buying more appliances.

All bets are off with the attic though! Last year when we finished the space we splurged and spent a small fortune on foam insulation which was a very good decision. Instead of the 200 degree temps up here before the renovation, it now only gets to about a hundred and twenty on a hot day. heh. Last summer I only worked in the studio in the mornings while it was fairly cool from the night, but this summer my schedule is a bit less predictable. It is VERY uncomfortable in the studio in the afternoons and especially if I have the lights on over the easel. ICK! So last week, before Doug left to go out west we decided to install a window unit. Good thing because we have had a bit of a heat wave since then!

So even though it is kinda like a nice cool heaven up here now, I am trying to use the ac VERY minimally. My own rules are that I leave the windows open all night and then only run the ac when I am up here working and if I am actually sweating. The space cools off pretty quickly once the ac gets started and I have yet to set it lower than 68. Ooh and it has a remote control! I thought a remote was totally ridiculous at first but now I do admit to sitting at my desk not four feet away from the ac and using the remote to turn it on AND enjoying the sheer laziness of that!!!

And Doug and I were remembering how back when we lived in Philly, it was pretty much a necessity to have air conditioning. Of course we couldn't afford one though and I recall buying a used, smelly crappy old window unit from a guy (who was probably fencing them) for like $20, which promptly broke down in the middle of a very hot July. Glad our situation has changed since then and that we can buy a new one (with a warranty!), yet there is still a little part of me that feels a bit guilty about the indulgence and also about further expanding our carbon footprint.

But I gotta work and it is pretty dang nice to have a relatively cool space to do that in.....

I Oughta Be in Pictures!

Right Against the Trees, 2009, Oil on Birch Panel, 30x40

I have been pretty busy with a variety of things for the last few weeks, mostly involving shuttling kids around, touching up the paint on our house's interior, rearranging and sorting through closets and drawers, and lastly, when I have some free time (ha!), working in the studio. I am hoping to get things, house things especially, squared away before school starts so when I get my days back I can really get some time in my studio. Ever the optimist!

There is a little bit of business going on now though. My work has been included in an interesting project in Boston. Several months ago, at the suggestion of one of my galleries, I sent Lanou Fine Art in Boston my info and while they seemed to like my work ultimately it was decided that there wasn't a spot for me in the gallery at that time. But then a few weeks ago I received an invitation from the gallery owner to participate in a new project related to the gallery. You can read more about it here and visit my page here. It will be interesting to see what happens here, film and tv placement for art is certainly an appealing direction for me right now.

Well, off to go buy school supplies with the kids now, maybe I will be able to get some time in the studio tomorrow......

Happy Anniversary to Me and Doug!

Horizon Lines (41), 2009, Oil on Birch Panel, 36x48

Well today, August 12, is an interesting day, in that it a. is mine and Doug's wedding anniversary and b. has been exactly one year since my youngest daughter was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes.

Because both events happened on the same day last year, it is easy for me to look back at the whole year and see and hopefully come to some sort of understanding about it all.

Last summer my sales began to really slow down and the first of several galleries closed, leaving me with very few projects on my studio schedule. At first I enjoyed the extra time, I had grand plans to paint other subject matter (I did that, but not to the extent that I had hoped to), totally reorganize my entire house, clean out our barn, begin working on a neglected flower garden on our property and any number of other things that I had always wanted to do but never had time for because I was so busy in my studio. But when Ginger got sick last August, I began to get lost. Gradually I gave up many of the things I draw energy from (painting, knitting, reading, gardening) and spent way too much aimless time on the computer and worrying. I was in such a funk!

And of course this affected my relationship with Doug. We have now been married 16 years (together 21) and every year but two have been amazing and wondrous even. So when we hit the rough patches, we both tend to overreact, from shock, maybe, because mostly we are so happy together and have always been a great team.

Anyway, I am beyond thankful that we are back on track even if we aren't actually together on our anniversary, for the second year in a row. He and Julien are out digging fossils at his quarry in Wyoming (last year he was on the same trip but cut it short when Ginger was in the hospital), they only had a short window of time to be out there this summer and this was the week. But that's ok, I went to the mall today and Doug bought me a new stereo with an iPod dock for my studio. Heh.

And in the last month or so I have been nearly brimming with a new energy for everything. I am excited about some new work I have been doing and have been working in the studio almost everyday, my gardens are shaping up despite the slow start last spring (while I was wringing my hands) and I am busy with all the little projects around the house that I have been ignoring for so long. I think I have read at least five books in the last few weeks and yesterday I pulled out some yarn for a new knitting project.

The only thing that still escapes my day is posting here more often, but I might have to blame Facebook for that. Well and maybe Bush too, because he is a very handy scapegoat, hehe.

I guess this qualifies a bad year for me, but it could have been way, WAY worse and I am very thankful that it wasn't. Ginger is fine, my marriage is fine and I feel like I have a slightly improved version of myself back. I think I have learned a thing or two about a thing or two.

So it's all good......

Opening at Carrie Haddad Gallery

Well, it's been a over a week since this opening for my show, but I will post about it anyway. Doug's brothers and their families were visiting us last weekend and things were pretty hectic before that (cleaning the house, etc) so yet again, I neglected my poor blog......

I left our visitors and drove the two hours down to Hudson to attend the opening. Alone, I might add. Doug stayed with our guests and since my openings seem to be downright painful to the kids, I went solo this time which, to be honest, sucked! But there was a good turnout and I enjoyed talking to several people, including the other artists. The show looked wonderful, one of my larger paintings was in the front window (despite the fact that I walked back to the car to get my camera, I still didn't get a picture of that, sigh...) and most of my work was featured in the front room.

Also notable about the evening was seeing three of my portrait paintings hanging in the back room. I had shown Carrie several of the portraits to get some feedback and she was VERY enthusiastic about them. She took the pieces that were on panel (the others are on paper and would need to be framed, something I haven't figured out how to handle yet) and said she would hang the others if I got them framed. So that was pretty exciting, and at the opening there were people actually looking at them and talking about them! I tried to get a picture of that, but missed my shot!! Anyway, just happy to have those paintings hanging within the four walls of a gallery. Mostly all I have heard from galleries about them is that they won't sell so this seems like progress. Heh.

A few days after, I came across this review of the show. I actually read this blog on a regular basis and am a follower too, so it was pretty cool to get the mention. I guess it's a positive review although I am not exactly sure about the "quasi-formulaic" part.

And on an unrelated note, I wanted to sincerely thank everyone who left comments on the post where I discussed my marriage. I truly appreciate all the good wishes! I meant to respond to each of you, but I was busy scrubbing baseboards, cleaning bathrooms and reorganizing the pantry and laundry room in preparation for our visitors:)

I am lucky to have so many wonderful readers.

Things Are Fine Now

So just a few days after I took a big gulp and finally mentioned here that Doug and I were separating, we decided to give it another go. Why, I don't feel foolish now at all! Heh.

Looking back, I think things began to improve on the Fourth of July weekend when we went to an Open Studio tour in a nearby town, Treadwell, that seems to have an extraordinary number of artists who live there. Including Julian Hatton, who was a visiting artist when I was at the Vermont Studio Center in 2008. Our paths have crossed a few times since then and we totally enjoyed visiting Julian, Alison, his wife, their studios and talking shop. After months of tension between Doug and I, we were still able to enjoy that day and discussing the art and the studio environments that we toured.

Much of the tension dissipated after that, but we forged ahead with the legal stuff anyway, thinking it would still be best if we separated.

But then we took our trip to the Hamptons to see the Pollock Krasner House. We had a great time and I think we both realized that that was something neither of us could ever imagine doing with anyone else. Art has always been a big part of the bond between us and we needed to be reminded of that again. Or maybe it was just the walk on the beach on a perfect day. Either way.

We still have much to sort out but the separation has been called off and the house is off the market too. Which is really good because not one single person called to look at our beautiful and perfect house (stupid economy) in the 2 months that it was listed. Guess we're stuck with it!

Thanks to everyone for all your kind words of concern and support, I can't even tell you how much it all meant to me.

Visiting the Pollock Krasner House

Doug and I arrived in the Hamptons on Wednesday. We first stopped in Southampton so I could meet the gallery owner that is trying out my work. She shows some very nice work, mostly pretty realistic imagery. My paintings (she has two) looked good and she said they have received a lot of attention, however neither have sold yet. Of course it is a slow summer for sales (stupid economy) and I think they will do better if she decides to take a few more paintings, so that they will make more sense.

Anyway, we had some extra time before dinner and even though our reservation was for the next day, we decided to drive out the Pollock Krasner House. We found it easily, it is very close to the road and I have to say that we both were a bit overwhelmed to see it in real life. I guess that sounds silly, but we have both read the books about their life there and have seen the movie, so we feel close to it all somehow. And knowing that the art that was created there had a profound effect on the course of American art, well that was just amazing.

Turns out we brought the cold rainy weather with us to the Hamptons so my pictures look a bit dreary but I am putting up the photos that I took of the house and yard. No cameras are allowed inside the studio, so Doug and I posed for cheesy tourist photos outside the studio building:



Images of the interior of the studio can be seen here.

So, like I said the house is pretty close to the road; there is a hedge in front and I was standing right at the end of the driveway when I took this one:

To the left of the driveway are several outbuildings (including the outhouse that they used for several years-the house had no plumbing or electric when they moved in). The studio is the wood shingled building:


This is the view from the back of the house:

The boulders are the same ones where the photograph was taken of Jackson Pollock (with Ruth Kligman) on the last day of his life. Beyond the boulders you can see the previous foundation of the barn/studio, which was moved because it was blocking the view of the bay from the house. The foundation is also where Jackson was filmed while painting on glass so that his face could be seen while he worked; the event that set him off on a brutal drinking binge.

The back door of the house opens right into the kitchen:


The kitchen table:

Evidently the house has been preserved pretty much as Lee Krasner left it. She lived and worked there until her death in 1984. She also worked in Pollock's studio after his death and bits of her colors and marks can be seen on the walls where she painted. Seeing that was awesome! As much as I appreciate Pollock's work, I actually like Lee Krasner's work better.

Anyway, the kitchen is open to the dining room where there is a huge round table (they had many guests out in the Springs):
and to the left hangs the anchor they found on the beach. This is the spot where an iconic photo of Jackson and Lee was taken:


And beyond the dining room is a small living room. There are shelves filled with books and and Jackson's extensive jazz record collection. Unfortunately, I got rushed through that room, I would have liked to have spent more time looking at the books and records.....


Upstairs are two bedrooms. This is the one that Jackson and Lee shared (they had twin beds!):


And Doug was intrigued by the old suitcases:

and when he looked closer, he insisted I photograph this:

The other bedroom was initially Jackson's studio when they first moved into the house (Lee worked in the kitchen) and after he began working in the barn, Lee moved into the room. I wish I had gotten better photograph of this room. It looked as if it had been used as an office space later on by Lee, and was pretty basic.



I liked the house quite a bit. The rooms are all open and it feels very spacious. It is very simple and spare and I envy that. I tend to want a lot of things around me, plus we have four kids so there is a natural clutter that follows us around. But someday I swear I will live in a clean, white sparse space. Well, maybe.

Our little tour group spent quite a bit of time in the studio. We all put on super fashionable foam slippers and walked on the actual floor that Pollock painted on. There was a written and pictorial history of both the working habits of Jackson and Lee. The light was amazing and the space really had a good feel to it. I wanted to stay and paint!!!

Seeing this house and property in person had a profound effect on both Doug and I. I wrote about the connection I felt to their move out to the country here. So funny to read this old post now but actually I still feel the same way about creating art on the beautiful farm where I live. Unfortunately, Doug has neglected his art in the years since we moved here and so we spent some time on the drive home making some plans concerning OUR barn for his use (seems like the separation is on hold, more on that another time).

Our day was not over but I think I will save the rest for another post. Must. Paint. Now.

Away We Go!

The Barn Next Door, 2009, Oil on Birch Panel, 12x6

Well, I have actually wanted to post over the last few days but things have been crazy here! Between finishing up the last minute details on the work for my show, getting my daughters all packed and off to summer camp and getting things ready for a short trip this week, it has been hectic.

But now the girls are at camp, tucked into their tents in the woods, my work was delivered to the gallery yesterday, and before I get started on cleaning the house and packing today, I thought I'd put up a quick post about our upcoming trip.

Ever since I saw the movie 'Pollock' and then read the book it was based on, I have always wanted to visit their house and studio out in the Hamptons. It's quite a hike from here, at least a 6 hour drive and so Doug and I kept putting off plans to go. But now since we are separating (yes, it's true, no further details available, but I will say it's been the reason for my difficult time earlier this year and also that it is an amicable split. I promise;)) we have decided that we should take this trip with each other, NOW before we put it off again. Neither of us can imagine seeing the Pollock-Krasner home without the other and so off we go tomorrow.

I will be back on Monday with a full update!

New Gallery, Maybe

Pink Triangle, 2009, Oil on Birch Panel, 9x9

So earlier this summer, my former NYC gallery director/current dealer gave my name and info to a gallery in the Hamptons. The owner of Chrysalis Gallery (no website!) in Southampton really liked my work, especially the more simple color fields. After going back and forth a bit with images and other information, she chose two paintings to start with. I am being 'tried out'. This has happened before, in fact most notably with the NYC gallery who went on to sell every painting that she ever got of mine. So normally I am fairly confident that the try out period will lead to more, however all bets are off now. The stupid economy has made sure of that!

But it is very nice to have another shot somewhere, especially the Hamptons, where I hear some people are still buying stuff. Well, it's just a rumor but I cling to it anyway.......

Checking to See If My Blogging Mojo Is Back

A Quiet Setting, 2009, Oil on Panel, 18x24

Well, now that I have had a good long break from my blog, I think I am ready to come back to it. Things have calmed down a bit in my life (temporarily, anyway) and when the time is right I will discuss that here in more detail. But for now, I have many updates and new work to post so I will start with all that.

I have been a busy bee the last few weeks, trying to get work ready to take down to the Carrie Haddad Gallery in Hudson, NY. I am part of a landscape show and will be getting the front room again so that is gratifying. Not sure what to expect as far as interest or sales go, but I feel very confident about the work I have ready and so that is all I can do for now. I will be posting the images for that show over the next few weeks here.

AND, you can also see my work on my new fan page at Facebook. I stressed a bit about starting one up (what if no one joined?) but finally published it the other day and was extremely flattered when so many of my current FB friends joined almost immediately. I also have a few fans that I don't know, and of course I love that. Heh.

So if you are on Facebook and would like to be my fan (wow, that sounds SO ridiculous!) here is the link. Anyone can join, provided the whole "life revolves around Tracy" thing isn't a problem and if I haven't accepted an invite at my regular page, this is the place to try again. I don't want to offend anyone, but my other page is more personal and I'd like to keep that one for real life friends and other bloggers that I have gotten to know over the last few years. I will discuss the chickens, cat puke and other such silly things here on the blog so no one will really miss out on much anyway. And if you are following all three Tracyland venues, I apologize in advance for all the repeated info you will surely be learning about me.....

So that wasn't so hard, now was it? More tomorrow then!

Ginger Baby Is 10!

Another birth story.

Ten years ago today I woke up around 5am with pretty consistent contractions. Like all my babies, this one was over due by at least a week, maybe more, but unlike the others, I hadn't had days of on and off contractions. Somehow though, I knew that this was it. I woke Doug up and he helped me get our room ready, changing the sheets, getting out the baby things etc. He also got the kids up and called our awesome friends Kristin and Jason who came and whisked the other three kids away for the day (by that time we had adopted our nephew and so all of a sudden we were going to have four kids!).

And after awhile we called our midwife, who came up about mid morning. It was a beautiful hot and sunny day (nearly all summer days in Utah are hot and sunny) and after walking around as much as I could, I finally laid down on my side and enjoyed our peaceful, light filled bedroom. Doug and the midwife sat on the bed with me and between contractions we laughed and chatted. It was so wonderful, relaxed and peaceful. Finally just after 1pm, my breathing changed and even though I had noticed it too, I remember still feeling surprised when our midwife told Doug that I would soon be pushing! Oddly I was surprised that the baby was actually going to be coming out!

By this time my uterus and cervix knew exactly what to do, and so this little baby just easily came right out after about ten minutes of pushing. Even though we had chosen not to have an ultrasound during the pregnancy, I knew this one was a girl too (my instincts were right with all my babies) and sure enough I was right. The other thing I knew within moments of holding my baby was that she was the last baby we would have! It would not have been unusual for us to have another baby, or three, hehe, we were living in Utah after all! But when I looked at this baby I knew she would always be youngest in our family. It was a most interesting feeling and I still recall it to this day.

Of course some of that may have been due to the horrible hemorrhoids I had in the last few days of this pregnancy! The pain of all that even almost had me questioning my firm intent to not induce labor!!!

Anyway, we had a few names on our list for this baby. Annie, Rosie, Ramona (my favorite) but within a few minutes of looking at her, I told Doug, this is Ginger and he agreed. Our son had mentioned the name a few months earlier because he knew a girl in school named Ginger, but we didn't really think about it again until we saw her.

Ginger was in perfect health, but within an hour or so, she started humming. It was the cutest thing, but our midwife was a bit concerned and kept checking her stats and breathing. She even gave us some advice about how to handle the situation at the hospital if we had to take her in (the local hospital wasn't too happy about home births and most of the doctors wouldn't talk to the midwife), but since Ginger seemed totally perfect otherwise, she finally decided we didn't need to take her in. We all surmised that the humming was just Ginger's way of settling into her new life outside of me and we sat back and enjoyed it. She hummed for well over a day, even while she was nursing and sleeping, and eventually it tapered off. I missed it a little bit when it ended, because it really was so sweet!

Around dinnertime Kristin and Jason came back with the kids and the first thing Sophie (she was two at the time) said when she came in was "give me my baby" and she got right up on the bed and held her little sister. I still get teary eyed when I remember that. Of course eventually she bit Ginger's fingers a few times, poked her eyes and now they fight and yell and pull each other's hair fairly often but when not doing all that they are very close. heh.

The other thing that the kids talked about for years after the day Ginger was born, was how they spent a good portion of the day cleaning out our car with Kristin and Jason. I was horrified to learn they had done this because man, that car was so filthy!!! But I can't deny that it sure was wonderful to get into a sparkling clean car with my new baby. And every time we cleaned the car after that the kids talked about how much stuff they found under the seats on the day Ginger was born.

And of course Ginger has grown up to be quite the character. She keeps us all hopping with her bubbly energy and enthusiasm for everything. She has had a few close close calls too, including the time she fell out a second floor window when she was two (she broke her wrist and had a skull fracture) and of course now her Type 1 Diabetes keeps us on our toes too.

Oh and the other thing I loved about Ginger's birth was how I just woke up one day, had some labor, gave birth to a baby and went to sleep that night at my usual bedtime. The others were practically all nighters and I was always so tired from being awake for so long which was way worse than giving birth!

Painting, Health and Five Birthday Cakes

Things are really picking up around here lately, workwise and otherwise too!

Work: I have 6 new paintings for the show in August, plus a few I can pull from my inventory. I have 12 small painting (that are relatively affordable, I hope) in progress:
I hope to pretty much finish them over the weekend, or by early next week at least. I may do another 6, but will decide about that next week too. The 4'x4' painting is still sitting on the easel for 2 reasons. One is I am undecided about what to do with it. I made some adjustments to the pink swath across the field (thanks Lou!) and while it looks better, I am still not sure it has the ooomph that I want it to have. The other reason, um the main reason actually, is because I have been too lazy to drag the panel downstairs to sand it down. Anyway, I will resolve the issue this week too I think. Busy week for decisions coming up, eh???

Other: I officially got fed up with myself last February and started to see a hypnotherapist to help me with my food and health issues. I went to her thinking I was a crazy out of control sugar addict, but she seemed to think not, that my issues had more to do with self worth. So she treated me accordingly and voila! I started eating less like a crazy person and more like the health conscious person that I am actually am deep down inside. Heh. So far I have lost about 30lbs and because I am still a self conscious girl person I will refrain from posting photos OR from mentioning how much more I would like to lose. However, I will say I have more to go.

And along with all that of course, is exercise. I have always been reasonably fit underneath the extra weight until the last few years (I blame my computer heh) and so I am working on getting that back on track too. I started out by doing my 3 mile walk around the block each day, then alternated that with a 3 mile walk up a pretty steep hill every other day. And then when I reached a weight loss plateau a few weeks ago, I began to add a second workout several days a week. I still usually do the walk every day, and I vary the other workouts. I've been doing swimming, spinning, elliptical machines (I hate treadmills), weight training and a few core strengthening classes here and there. Some time in the next month or so I will probably get the nerve to do the other fitness classes at the gym and I may even try Zumba at some point. It looks fun, but I suspect I will look totally ridiculous doing it and so I definitely need some time to gather myself up to do that one!!

So between painting, all this damn exercise (which is making me feel really good, btw) and kids at home all day now, things are busy. I am making an monumental effort to not bail on the exercise though, like I usually do when I am busy preparing for a show.

PS. I forgot to mention that we are in the middle of birthday season-three of the kid's birthdays, one each week for three consecutive weeks. And because the tween girls MUST have a party we are talking five cakes in three weeks. So far it's two down, two coming up tomorrow and one more next weekend. Blech! And it is SO awesome I can now say that about cake!!! Double blech!!

Sophie and the Sun

So twelve years ago today I woke with pretty insistent labor pains. It was my second pregnancy and even though my first baby fooled me into thinking he was going to come out every day for a week, I was pretty sure it was the real thing this time! When the contractions were closer together called our midwife Chris and she got to our house within about an hour (she lived about 45 minutes away). We all hung out on the bed while she monitored me, Doug and I and our son who was 2 at the time (we hadn't adopted our oldest son yet) as we were thinking he might be old enough to watch. But in typical fashion, after Chris was there for about an hour, everything stalled. She waited for awhile longer before leaving and we agreed to call her if the contractions started up again. We decided to go about our day and since the plan had been to go to the local arts festival, that's just what we did.

By the time we got there I was having contractions again. They were fairly irregular though so I just kept going because I knew the walking would be help move things along. I was as big as a house, hot and sweaty and so naturally I saw everyone I knew there. I think most people were afraid to talk with me too long though for fear that baby was just going to fall out right in front of them!

Doug and I debated about buying a few things but not surprisingly we were distracted and couldn't make a decision, so we finally left without buying any art. Later after we were home Doug decided to go back and buy an iron cut out that we had liked. I always tell Sophie that we bought the sun for her on the day she was born.
After dinner I still had the contractions and was also feeling kind of funny, so I laid down on the sofa for a bit and then, whammo!!! Things were in high gear all of a sudden! I got myself upstairs and Doug tried to get things ready again, while I, um, spent a lot of time in the bathroom. Heh. A friend of ours who had assisted in Julien's birth came over but by that time things were getting a bit hectic and she seemed overwhelmed. Finally, we called Chris. We actually waited far too long, mostly because and get this: we didn't want to bother her since we had already had her come up earlier in the day!!! Are we polite or what?

At this point I was getting a bit flustered, the contractions were way stronger and harder than my first labor and I kept having to use the bathroom. I felt like I was screaming (I wasn't) and I made Doug close the windows because I didn't want the neighbors to hear me. He told me later he thought I was cold (I wasn't). He was also talking to Chris as she was driving up and I think she was going 90 miles an hour through the canyon (we lived in northern Utah) after he told her I was using the bathroom so often. I didn't realize it at the time but I was ready to push, this labor was so different than my first that I didn't recognize the feeling. Meanwhile, Julien was getting a bit worked up seeing all this hubbub and our friend took him downstairs and parked him in front of the tv to watch a video of about 20 episodes of Little Bear (his favorite show) that we had ready for just this situation.

Just after that, and while I was leaving the bathroom yet again I vaguely recall seeing Chris coming up the steps, pulling on her gloves and when I sat down on the bed, my water broke, I pushed about twice and there was our baby girl. She came out so fast and furious and I was breathing like I had just finished a marathon! As soon as I calmed down I saw our baby was blue and Chris was rubbing her back (I had missed seeing her unwrap the cord from around her neck) and as she pinked up, she started crying. Oddly, I wasn't worried about this at all, I just had this feeling that everything would be fine and then it was. She nursed within minutes of her birth and showed off her healthy lungs many times that night!

Julien came upstairs within minutes and was very excited to see a baby there and when we told him that her name was Sophie he kissed her and said "hi soapy". So of course that was her nickname for years!

A few other bits of info:

Sophie was born at 11:34pm on the first day of summer and it was also a full moon that night which we thought was pretty special and good luck too.

We saved the placenta in the fridge for a few days then Doug buried it in the flower bed in our backyard. More good luck.

And Chris told us years later that we still held her record for her closest arrival to the birth without going over. We like that!

I love to tell Sophie about her crazy birth and she used to love it too, but now it is highly embarrassing to her. I look forward to her enjoying the story again someday but in the meantime I will just tell everyone else about it. heh.

Good News and Bad News

Horizon Lines (38), 2009, Oil on Birch Panel, 12x16

Well, the good news is that I have six nice paintings (one shown above) finished so far for my show at the Carrie Haddad Gallery in August. I have about 3 weeks left to do about a dozen small ones and one or two larger ones. So I am feeling pretty good about my progress here.

The bad news is that I put the color on the 4'x4' panel (below) that is supposed to be the "centerpiece" of the show, and I pretty much hate it! (although it does look better in person than it does in this photo) I had a few doubts about the underpainting, but since that doesn't always mean the end result will suck, I kept going. However, in this case, I can see now how much better the whole piece would be if I had not extended the tree line up on the right. I usually catch those compositional issues at the underpainting stage but I guess this one slipped by me. Blech. And if I don't catch them, sometimes I can fix them with the color, but not this time. The underpainting of the trees here is so strong that if I were to extend the sky down over the them, I would lose the translucency in that area. And I hate when that happens.

So I will decide for sure tomorrow, but I have a strong feeling this one is headed for the sand down pile, and quickly. May as well try again on that same panel, since it's already prepped.......

Burn Out!!!

Well, I guess I should just admit it. I am a bit burned out on blogging. And not only have I slowed down on posting I am also not keeping up with my lovely blogger friends either, which makes me feel very sad.

I am not going to say I will post more often, because I don't really think that I can right now. But I don't plan on quitting either. So I guess posts will continue to be a bit sporadic until I get my mojo back. Just so you know. Heh.

I am getting ready for a show in August so I will at least try to post progress images of that, k?

In the meantime a crazy cat picture is always fun. I bought these baskets for the kids to keep their excessive bathroom stuff in. Almost immediately the cats hijacked them and no one wants to put anything in them now because they are all covered in cat hair. Today though, I had to laugh when I saw Jones and Dorrie. A rare tender moment between brother and sister.....

Painting and Dumb Stupid Exercise

Last Bit of the Day, 2009, Oil on Birch Panel, 11x14

Well, I have officially started to work on the paintings for my upcoming show at Carrie Haddad Gallery in Hudson, NY, in August. I feel very relaxed about this, right now anyway! I have a lot of work on hand already, which is good, because it is going to be tough to get much done in the coming month. The kids have crazy busy schedules for the next few weeks, then school is out for the summer and they will be home more.

In addition I have been working on getting my fitness back and have been trying to work out 2x a day almost everyday. I have been doing that for several weeks and while I am feeling good, it sure does take a chunk of time out of my workday. Love/hate dumb stupid exercise......

Crazy Corsage Girl

Crazy Corsage, 2009, Oil on Gessoed Paper, 12x16

So this is the third of the most recent group of portraits from the People You Know series. I have mixed feelings about it, I like the face and gesture, but am not thrilled with the dress and not sure about the corsage. But I am going to move on to the next batch anyway, and hopefully bring along only the good parts from these last few portraits. I wish!

That's it for today's post as I have a rocking headache tonight. This morning I spent two hours in a dentist chair having two molars prepped for crowns. Luckily, no root canal was necessary in the really bad tooth, although there was some "rebuilding" involved there which worries me a bit. Heh. Anyway, I had plenty of novacaine and have some great relaxation techniques (thanks Bradley Method!) to get through crap like that, but now the novacaine has worn off and my head hurts, my jaw and tongue hurt and all my teeth seem to hurt too. Tonight, I feel incrementally better, but today was a lost day and I really didn't accomplish anything. Hoping a good nights sleep will get me back on track tomorrow, I have so much to do!!!

Road trip with My Son

Julien and Sharon Butler

Saturday seemed like a good day for a road trip, so I decided to drag my 14 year old son, Julien, along with me to attend a gallery opening at the John Davis Gallery in Hudson. He was a good sport about it, after all he is already talking about going to art school, and even did his version of dressing up. He also brought along his iPod for us to listen to in the car and he was kind enough to play the music that I like (the music I downloaded and have brainwashed him into liking, I am SO proud!!) and not his so much. However, I was specifically asked NOT to sing, which was amazingly difficult when Creedence Clearwater Revival came up!

Anyway, it was a beautiful, sunny day and on the way down to Hudson I stopped and took a few pictures of some barns, as well as a few interesting signs. Always love passing Hubcap Heaven:

and of course we were SO tempted to stop for some dinner after seeing this sign:

The show was awesome, both the art and the space. I love the carriage house and its rough, industrial space:
So depressing to be on a strict budget! I was dying to buy one of these small paintings by Molly Herman:
There was a lovely courtyard between the two spaces:
I spent some time talking to Sharon Butler of Two Coats of Paint.which I really enjoyed and I also met Martin Bromirski, whose blog I have been reading for years (he has up a post about the opening too, and I am not the least bit offended that he didn't mention me at all, nope, not offended at all;)). Martin and I also went to UArts in Philadelphia, back in the 80's, although we didn't know each other then. We were in different departments and he was also two years behind me. I imagine we shared an elevator at some point or an evening or two at Dirty Frank's, but I don't specifically recall either of those. Heh. Anyway, Martin also brought his mom (who also reads my blog) along to the opening and she and I had several lovely conversations. Nice mom you have, Martin!!

After Julien and I left the gallery, we walked up the street and had pizza at Baba Louie's. My son is at the age where he can eat a crazy amount of food and the waitress was amazed that he easily put away a 14" pizza.:

The drive home was uneventful, although finally I just couldn't help myself and had to sing at the top of my lungs to Paradise By the Dashboard Light, by Meatloaf until in a huff, Julien switched it to something I didn't know. hehe. Good times.