So just a few days after I took a big gulp and finally mentioned here that Doug and I were separating, we decided to give it another go. Why, I don't feel foolish now at all! Heh.
Looking back, I think things began to improve on the Fourth of July weekend when we went to an Open Studio tour in a nearby town, Treadwell, that seems to have an extraordinary number of artists who live there. Including Julian Hatton, who was a visiting artist when I was at the Vermont Studio Center in 2008. Our paths have crossed a few times since then and we totally enjoyed visiting Julian, Alison, his wife, their studios and talking shop. After months of tension between Doug and I, we were still able to enjoy that day and discussing the art and the studio environments that we toured.
Much of the tension dissipated after that, but we forged ahead with the legal stuff anyway, thinking it would still be best if we separated.
But then we took our trip to the Hamptons to see the Pollock Krasner House. We had a great time and I think we both realized that that was something neither of us could ever imagine doing with anyone else. Art has always been a big part of the bond between us and we needed to be reminded of that again. Or maybe it was just the walk on the beach on a perfect day. Either way.
We still have much to sort out but the separation has been called off and the house is off the market too. Which is really good because not one single person called to look at our beautiful and perfect house (stupid economy) in the 2 months that it was listed. Guess we're stuck with it!
Thanks to everyone for all your kind words of concern and support, I can't even tell you how much it all meant to me.
25 comments:
yay! I'm doing a cheer! (and I'm no cheerleader). Funny how the cyber world can make people you've never met feel like friends. I was sad when you mentioned it and so happy to hear that you're trying again. So nice your trip helped you to reconnect again. What a blessing being away can be when it helps you really appreciate what you have.
Having just found your blog this week, I don't know much about your past posts, but I do admire your work and just from what I have read so far, you sound like a really interesting person! I also think you are fortunate to have a husband who seems to enjoy art like you do. I saw happiness in your faces when you were on your 'road trip' and I just wish you both more of this in your future!
Glad to hear it Tracy! One thing I discovered today was that the one thing a husband wants most of all from his wife is... (not not sex).. respect!!! I couldn't believe it, but it's true. Should google some tips like I am, can't hurt! That's my tip anyway! haha
Glad you guys are giving it another go.
Somehow I missed all of this- I was caught up in my own divorce drama. It's good to hear about a reconciliation. Congrats. House on & off the market? Gawd, I am slow.
Pardon the choppy sentences above- iPhone tap tap. But seriously, that's wonderful. Thanks, Tracy, for sharing and being so open.
Hi Tracey!
I am a recent lurker of your blog. I just want to send you all my sympathy. My parents divorced when I was ten. Since then none of them really managed another solid relationship. They are now both single and it is hard for me and my sister to alleviate their loneliness.
On the other hand my in-laws have been married for 46 years, they are fighting day in day out, there are tears and laughter but they are sticking together and I don't think they could ever live apart.
My mother in law jokes and says her marriage is based on hatred and that she will never leave her husband as she wants to nag him until the end of their lives. I think this is love, really.
Your first commenter Ellen said exactly what I wanted to say!
my fingers are crossed for you both! from Russia with love... now that I got to a good wifi here and am catching up on things...
Wonderful news Tracy. We love you!Shirley and Jim
Ah, the ups and downs of married life. I've been married for most of my life to the same man. When you talk about things you can't imagine doing without the other, it struck a chord with me. That's the glue that binds. I'm so happy you found your way back to one another!
Tracy, I'm wishing the best for you and your family. I have very little info. on what you all have been through, but I recall reading about some of your medical concerns this past year. Such things can be EXTREMELY stressful, even if everyone is on the same page.
Try to do as many of those things that you both want to do together.
Tracy, I am so happy to hear this news!And how lovely that your mutual love of art helped to remind you of all you share.
This post made my day. So happy for you.
Holy cats!!!!
Hi Tracey,
One more reason to love Jackson Pollock!
I was really disappointed that you mentioned separation - you are such a prize, who could live without you.
But, I had feeling that the trip might just be the ticket to get you two back together.
I'm so darn happy for you Tracey!
Not to mention I'm happy for your gorgeous kids.
Your posting for the trip was great fun too.
Cheers, Sherrill, Montreal
Ah Tracy, it's so hard sometimes. Do not feel foolish. It's a testament to the depth of your connection that you can still seek to find it again.
I was feeling so sad for you guys! Even though its been forever since we've seen you we still LOVE your family and were sad that it was changing. Then your fabulous post today!!! I think you guys are great together and I'm so happy that you will still be together!
Good news indeed! No really good marriage (except really boring ones) sails smoothly year after year. We have to be tested from time to time. That's the challenge...
touch wood. I am so happy for you.
How the hell did I miss all this?!
Well, I'm really, really, really glad that things are fine now.
I'm always so happy when I hear good news and this is great news! Even tho I'm on vacation on the shores of Lake Superior using "dial up" no doubt....I couldn"t help checking in. You and Doug are a great couple and I feel blessed to call u friends. Now when the hell are you heading to Toronto?
Melody
I had a feeling when you said you decided to go together to see Pollack that you might connect (or re-connect) in a way outside of whatever was causing the dis-harmony before.
It's funny too that I had just had a conversation with a fellow artist and one of the true friends I consider to have who loves Pollack (but who is not one of my favs)... after hearing her talk about why Pollack means so much to her I had been reconsidering my take on his work and then I read your post... Pollack really does have a power and a pull I’m now seeing!
Marriage is a mystery – I have no advice, just am glad to hear that you’re at a different place post Pollack.
Glad to hear that you and Doug are back together! Hope that your find much happiness together in the future.
Tracy, I just found your blog and your work. I love both! I'm happy you and your hubby are making a go of it. Sounds like you two have a wonderful history. Thanks for the Pollock house tour and keep up the great work!
www.doncokerart.com/blog
Oh I'm so sorry things have been tense... and I'm VERY happy there has been a release and decompression... man. How you continue to keep moving on and painting and working and blogging...
You are a strong woman and you guys will be better for all of this. I wish you all the best... Shan
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