Orange Poppy, 2007, Oil on Panel, 4x4
After rereading my last post about being in college in Minneapolis, I realized that my allusions to stupid behavior could be taken to sound a bit worse than it was. I never did anything to hurt other people (though I guess I did make a few hang up calls to my ex-boyfriend, which was NOT called stalking then), and there was no illegal behavior, with the exception of underage drinking. Mostly I was self-destructive, making a fool of myself with a bit of loud and obnoxious behavior, public vomiting (riding the subway can be difficult at the end of an evening of drinking) and feeling the need to drunkenly blurt out my entire life story to anyone who cared, or who just happened to be nearby. I spent many Mondays tracking down people in order to apologize for my behavior over the weekend, and unfortunately it took me a while to take that as a sign to stop drinking to excess.
I guess I could have qualified as an alcoholic, and I believe that I did meet a few of the criteria. I didn't really like the taste of alcohol though and so I drank for social reasons, to feel less self-conscious around other people (I never sat at home and drank by myself). But I also drank in college because many of us felt it was what artists did in order to be "real artists." Um, real smart.
The summer after I finished college, I really went overboard and was at the bars every night. The drinking began to affect my daily life and I also had several black outs, which were considered funny in my crowd at the time, but secretly I was horrified and ashamed of myself. I probably could have developed a more serious drinking problem but I met Doug that fall and found better things to do with my time. It was no big deal to stop drinking and while I still had the occasional drink, I never returned to getting totally smashed at the bars.
After a few years, I stopped completely when Doug and I decided to start a family. And now, perhaps I would have a glass of wine once in awhile, except that I have had a stomach ulcer and it's best to for me to simply avoid alcohol altogether. Doug drinks socially and many of our friends do as well, but I am totally fine with just drinking water. I do still manage to say really stupid things though, and sometimes even offer TMI about myself to whomever is seated next to me. Heh.
Today's image is one of the series of flower paintings I have been working on for a show at a local gallery in Cooperstown. I will put the rest up over the next few days.