Winter Light, 2007, Oil on Panel, 9x12
Well, folks, turns out I was too sick after all to make it to my own opening in Pittsburgh, for a show that has been on my calendar for over two years, yes, two years.
I really thought I was better, and had nearly convinced myself of that during the 2 hour drive to the airport and while standing in the security lines. But when Doug and I were in the bookstore, it really hit me-I felt awful. When I moved my eyes everything wiggled and I was pretty sure I had a fever (I did, it was 101.9). So Doug got our bag back, canceled everything and we drove back home.
I felt horrible about missing the opening, I worried about how the gallery had put so much time and energy into setting up the show and publicizing it and how it felt like such a faux pas that I had committed. Of course the gallery director was very nice and understanding when Doug called her to explain (I was practically hallucinating by then) but still this is new territory for me and I reserve the right to feel guilty anyway. But by Friday evening I didn't care, I was worried about survival! And at around 7pm on Saturday, during the opening, I was crawling around my bedroom trying to get into bed so that I could assume the fetal position and die. So I guess it was good I didn't go, right?
Anyway, today I am feeling much better. I still have a very irritating cough and not much energy, but I am not seeing things anymore, my temperature has been normal since last night and the part in my hair doesn't hurt as much either (I am not even kidding, the area around the part of my hair was incredibly painful and sensitive. I kept thinking it would go away if I made a new part on the other side but I couldn't bear the thought of doing that either). Doug took care of everything while I was out of it and the kids have been very helpful towards me. I plan to milk that for at least another week or so. The other benefits from this enforced time off was, well having time off, which I suspect I needed (the body is very intuitive) and I lost a few pounds plus was able to kick my sugar habit in one fell swoop.
There is always a bright side.