Monday, June 19, 2006

Father's Day and Crabby Pattys





Late Light, 2006, Oil on Panel, 20x16











Good grief, I am glad the weekend is over. We were nonstop Friday to Sunday. I can actually get some rest today by working in my studio. My daughter got second place in the 400m race and qualified for the next track meet which is in a few weeks. The chicken coop is about halfway built, I got a lot of planting done in the gardens, and although one soccer game was cancelled due to rain, it cleared up just in time for the second one. And on Sunday I had the pleasure of doing some things in the kitchen in preparation for a dinner party at our neighbor's house. I made a lemon blueberry cake, homemade chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwiches, onion dip, and a pesto potato salad with pine nuts. Have I mentioned that I like to cook? Everything turned out nicely, the lemon blueberry cake was a risk, as I had not made it before. Everyone at the dinner was very complimentary, so my ego is good now, PLUS I received a marriage proposal based on my skills in the kitchen. heh.

I am afraid our Father's Day was not particularly pleasant, nor was it filled with light and sweetness as our Mother's Day was. Two of the kids had had sleep overs, so they were super crabby and our family lunch had interrupted a very important movie on the tv. So, alas, there was a lot of arguing, crying and sullen attitudes at the table. Doug and I were just laughing it was so classic. He did receive this beautiful handmade gift from our youngest daughter so the day was complete. Well, between that gift and the enforced afternoon naps, that is.













Father's Day is a day that has always been a very uncomfortable day for me. My own father has not felt the need to see or talk to me for 35 years or so and while I actually didn't mind that so much (I knew that he was a jerk and I was probably better off not having him around) handling the societal expectations involving Father's Day were awkward. When I see how devoted Doug is to our children, I can't help but wonder how so many men can just leave their families, because really, it happens far too often in our society. Anyway, as an adult now, I enjoy (as much as I can enjoy a crass, overly commercialized "holiday") Father's Day like I enjoy Mother's Day, through our kids and their enjoyment of it. Even if they are crabby pattys* all day.



*That's a Sponge Bob reference, by the way.

6 comments:

Ed Maskevich said...

My own father was quiet and distant. Given that he helped to support his family during the depression and the things that he saw as a soldier in WWII (he helped to free a concentration camp) this is not surprising. But from his actions and his life I learned the true meaning of fidelity, to spouse and family. Like you, I do not understand men who can just walk away from their families or to not contribute in any way, shape, or form.

tlwest said...

Mothers days and Fathers days... you never know what you are going to get with young children -- or even teens for that matter! nap sounds really good!

Tracy Helgeson said...

Hi Ed, It's nice that you can understand your father, his actions, and what you learned from his example.

Hi Terri, I still fondly remember the long sparkly, plastic homemade glittery earrings that I received a few years back....

william wray said...

Nice light--I like.

william wray said...

My father was there with $upport, but always ignored the family. We just bored him and he was very, very, angry. So I can relate. I made the effort to undersand and forgive him as best as I could becasue I was suffering and he didn't care. I choose not to suffer, at least as best as I can.

Tracy Helgeson said...

Thanks, William, for the compliment. Good for you, deciding to forgive your father. While I still have a hard time with parents leaving their children, I have come to an understanding, after having my own children, of the incredible pressure of parenthood and clearly some parents just handle that pressure badly.