Our Philadelphia Experience

So Doug and I drove down to Philadelphia on Saturday to attend a surprise 25th wedding anniversary for one of Doug's childhood friends. Everyone who had been a guest at the wedding was invited, which I thought was a wonderful concept and while our friends suspected something was going on, they were surprised to see the whole crew there. It was a wonderful party and even though I only knew a handful of people, I had a GREAT time. My party social skills have been on a decline in the past several years so it was lovely to really enjoy myself this time.

After the party we drove to our hotel in Center City and even though it was perilously close to our usual bedtime, we were both anxious to go out and walk around our old neighborhood.

(Just to recap if you are new here, or if you have not committed my background to memory: I moved to Philly, from Minneapolis, in January 1985 to attend PCA, now UArts, and lived in a variety of places in Center City, a loft in North Kensington which was a bit dangerous for a single gal what with the constant gunshots and all, then I lived in a really yucky apartment in South Philly at 8th&McKean when I met Doug. Doug grew up in Broomall, a Philly suburb, attended Tyler 1976-1980 or so, lived at 13th and Walnut 1984-1986, then moved up to a studio on North Delaware Avenue which is where he lived when we met. We had a place together on Fairmont Avenue, then moved to Milford Connecticut in 1991. Phew!)

The first thing I learned on our walk is that the building at 15th&Spruce where I had a beautiful studio apartment on the 14th floor is gone, replaced by the Kimmel Center. I knew about the Kimmel Center but didn't realize that it was right THERE. Sigh. But McGlinchey's, one of my favorite dive bars just a few doors down was still there and we decided to go on in. It was like walking into a time machine (except I did NOT get carded this time;)), absolutely nothing was different, including the bartender, Fred. I didn't know I remembered his name until I saw him and his name just naturally came to mind. Old habits.....

Anyway, Doug and I hung around awkwardly for a few minutes, then started to talk with the guy at the door. I decided to chat with Fred and even though he didn't remember me (I think I am glad about that, it means I did not do anything there that someone might remember for more than a few years at least!) he was very sweet and chatty and it was great to talk to him. He seemed glad to know that I had moved on from the bar scene and that I have a family and good life. Anyway, it was very surreal to be in that bar again, many events occurred there for the few years I was a regular; I made friends and lost them, had a few torturous romances, drank too much. I recall watching the 1988 Winter AND Summer Olympics there and cheering for Debi Thomas, Gordeeva and Grinkov, and winced when Greg Louganis hit his head on the springboard, but still went on to win the gold medal. Doug and I spent our first New Year's Eve there together (even though he hated bars). The beer there was cheap back then, 50 cents on tap and there was a lot of Tom Waits music on the jukebox. Perfect. Well it was back then anyway, last Saturday, I felt uncomfortable there and so we moved on. These reviews give a pretty accurate picture of McGlinchey's. Some people might be a bit too uptight to enjoy this particular dive bar;)

It was wonderful to see my old school, which has taken over much of the area and I have a lot of great memories of late nights in the studios, rushing to an early class loaded down with art supplies and books. Sitting in the small park (which is now gone) between classes, grabbing something to eat at the health food store on the corner (which is now a Starbucks) and going for a swim at the Jewish Y (which is now a UArts building). Sigh again.

And then onto my other dive bar, Dirty Frank's:
Dirty Frank's has been at 13th&Pine forever and everyone that I have ever met who went to UArts also spent more than a few evenings there. Even though the beer cost a bit more (always an issue for a college student) I actually liked Dirty Frank's much more than McGlinchey's. They were open on Sunday nights and also on the holidays and I spent more than a few Thankgivings, Christmas Eves and New Years there for several years. It was the perfect place to cry in your beer from loneliness, then turn to the person next to you and have some fascinating, or really stupid conversation to pull you out of it. I also spent a lot of time there with my friends from school, it was a good place to go after a long day of classes and a night of painting in the studio. Anyway, it was basically the same as 20 years ago, but instead of the boarded up look that I remember, there are murals of Franks on the exterior. Inside it seemed a lot more cluttered, tons of cut paper snowflakes hanging from the ceiling, faded Mummer's parasols over the bar. The old wood booths are the same (now I wish I had carved my name in one when I had the chance) as well as the bench covered in chipped linoleum by the door. A lot of art hanging on the walls and I am just going to assume that the bathrooms are still as disgusting as they used to be on a Saturday night. I tried to find out but the ladies room was occupied for a disturbingly long time. Heh. Doug and I decided to sit at the bar and I am quite sure that a. the barstools are the exact same ones that were there 20 years ago and b. the guy sitting on the other side of Doug was also a regular in the 80's. I hope he was just back for a visit like me, but somehow I don't think he was.

And to top it all off, the same bartender from 1987 was still on duty. We started chatting and she didn't remember me either. Safe again!

Funny thing about sitting at Dirty Frank's though. I felt VERY comfortable. Kinda like I was back at home. Maybe I should feel sad about that but I don't really. It was like a home to me at a time when I was really lonely and troubled and even though I did a lot of stupid things in those days, I could always go and sit at Dirty Franks and feel more at ease than I ever did in my childhood home. That seemed pathetic at the time, but I don't feel that way about it at all anymore. Plus, there was something very satisfying about getting all teary eyed, while Peggy Lee asked "Is That All There Is?" I had a melodramatic streak back then, hehe.

So after Doug finished his beer and I drank my ice water (did learn a few lessons from the old days at least, I don't drink alcohol anymore!) we went on to look at the building where his father's graphic design studio was for many years, which was coincidentally right behind one of the apartments that I lived in. Then we went to look at his old place on Walnut Street.

It was great to walk around the streets at night without worrying about anything, as it used to be a bit hairy, lots of shadowy types, hookers and cars slowly cruising by. Now the streets are crowded with people, lots of restaurants with tables out on the sidewalks, a really great atmosphere! I did get a shout out from a creepy guy in a car driving by which was a real blast from the past. I used to get hassled quite a bit like that when I lived there (I think it was the red hair) and always hated it. This time Doug and I had a good laugh and frankly at age 44, it was almost gratifying. Heh.

Back to our fabulous hotel room near Rittenhouse Square which made me seriously consider putting all my belongings in storage so that I could move in there and had a great night's sleep.

The next morning we drove around to see the other places we lived. We sat in the car out front of the building where Doug lived and worked when we met and reminisced. That area looked EXACTLY the same, down to the sauerkraut factory across the street:

We drove down to South Philly to look at my old apartment:
I lived in the 2nd floor apartment and there were NO flowers climbing up the front when I lived there. The neighborhood looks a bit better now, it was getting pretty bad when I moved away. The old Italian guys that hung out at the store on the corner (a photo of Mussolini hung prominently on the wall just inside the door) and pestered me about working at a "Jew" owned business while I waited for the bus are long gone. But the building still has an Italian theme:
and it still looks like some sort of hangout.....

So all in all it was a very memorable trip down memory lane. On the drive home, we daydreamed about moving back into Center City when the kids are grown, but all that disappeared when we drove up the beautiful, quiet country to our house. So happy to be where we are now.

PS. But we might visit Philly a bit more often. We still have friends there! And there is a museum! And art galleries! And lots of restaurants! And Zoe Strauss!

Things Are Fine Now

So just a few days after I took a big gulp and finally mentioned here that Doug and I were separating, we decided to give it another go. Why, I don't feel foolish now at all! Heh.

Looking back, I think things began to improve on the Fourth of July weekend when we went to an Open Studio tour in a nearby town, Treadwell, that seems to have an extraordinary number of artists who live there. Including Julian Hatton, who was a visiting artist when I was at the Vermont Studio Center in 2008. Our paths have crossed a few times since then and we totally enjoyed visiting Julian, Alison, his wife, their studios and talking shop. After months of tension between Doug and I, we were still able to enjoy that day and discussing the art and the studio environments that we toured.

Much of the tension dissipated after that, but we forged ahead with the legal stuff anyway, thinking it would still be best if we separated.

But then we took our trip to the Hamptons to see the Pollock Krasner House. We had a great time and I think we both realized that that was something neither of us could ever imagine doing with anyone else. Art has always been a big part of the bond between us and we needed to be reminded of that again. Or maybe it was just the walk on the beach on a perfect day. Either way.

We still have much to sort out but the separation has been called off and the house is off the market too. Which is really good because not one single person called to look at our beautiful and perfect house (stupid economy) in the 2 months that it was listed. Guess we're stuck with it!

Thanks to everyone for all your kind words of concern and support, I can't even tell you how much it all meant to me.

Visiting the Pollock Krasner House

Doug and I arrived in the Hamptons on Wednesday. We first stopped in Southampton so I could meet the gallery owner that is trying out my work. She shows some very nice work, mostly pretty realistic imagery. My paintings (she has two) looked good and she said they have received a lot of attention, however neither have sold yet. Of course it is a slow summer for sales (stupid economy) and I think they will do better if she decides to take a few more paintings, so that they will make more sense.

Anyway, we had some extra time before dinner and even though our reservation was for the next day, we decided to drive out the Pollock Krasner House. We found it easily, it is very close to the road and I have to say that we both were a bit overwhelmed to see it in real life. I guess that sounds silly, but we have both read the books about their life there and have seen the movie, so we feel close to it all somehow. And knowing that the art that was created there had a profound effect on the course of American art, well that was just amazing.

Turns out we brought the cold rainy weather with us to the Hamptons so my pictures look a bit dreary but I am putting up the photos that I took of the house and yard. No cameras are allowed inside the studio, so Doug and I posed for cheesy tourist photos outside the studio building:



Images of the interior of the studio can be seen here.

So, like I said the house is pretty close to the road; there is a hedge in front and I was standing right at the end of the driveway when I took this one:

To the left of the driveway are several outbuildings (including the outhouse that they used for several years-the house had no plumbing or electric when they moved in). The studio is the wood shingled building:


This is the view from the back of the house:

The boulders are the same ones where the photograph was taken of Jackson Pollock (with Ruth Kligman) on the last day of his life. Beyond the boulders you can see the previous foundation of the barn/studio, which was moved because it was blocking the view of the bay from the house. The foundation is also where Jackson was filmed while painting on glass so that his face could be seen while he worked; the event that set him off on a brutal drinking binge.

The back door of the house opens right into the kitchen:


The kitchen table:

Evidently the house has been preserved pretty much as Lee Krasner left it. She lived and worked there until her death in 1984. She also worked in Pollock's studio after his death and bits of her colors and marks can be seen on the walls where she painted. Seeing that was awesome! As much as I appreciate Pollock's work, I actually like Lee Krasner's work better.

Anyway, the kitchen is open to the dining room where there is a huge round table (they had many guests out in the Springs):
and to the left hangs the anchor they found on the beach. This is the spot where an iconic photo of Jackson and Lee was taken:


And beyond the dining room is a small living room. There are shelves filled with books and and Jackson's extensive jazz record collection. Unfortunately, I got rushed through that room, I would have liked to have spent more time looking at the books and records.....


Upstairs are two bedrooms. This is the one that Jackson and Lee shared (they had twin beds!):


And Doug was intrigued by the old suitcases:

and when he looked closer, he insisted I photograph this:

The other bedroom was initially Jackson's studio when they first moved into the house (Lee worked in the kitchen) and after he began working in the barn, Lee moved into the room. I wish I had gotten better photograph of this room. It looked as if it had been used as an office space later on by Lee, and was pretty basic.



I liked the house quite a bit. The rooms are all open and it feels very spacious. It is very simple and spare and I envy that. I tend to want a lot of things around me, plus we have four kids so there is a natural clutter that follows us around. But someday I swear I will live in a clean, white sparse space. Well, maybe.

Our little tour group spent quite a bit of time in the studio. We all put on super fashionable foam slippers and walked on the actual floor that Pollock painted on. There was a written and pictorial history of both the working habits of Jackson and Lee. The light was amazing and the space really had a good feel to it. I wanted to stay and paint!!!

Seeing this house and property in person had a profound effect on both Doug and I. I wrote about the connection I felt to their move out to the country here. So funny to read this old post now but actually I still feel the same way about creating art on the beautiful farm where I live. Unfortunately, Doug has neglected his art in the years since we moved here and so we spent some time on the drive home making some plans concerning OUR barn for his use (seems like the separation is on hold, more on that another time).

Our day was not over but I think I will save the rest for another post. Must. Paint. Now.

It's Been a Good Wallow

Ok, so I admit to wallowing in my current post show meltdown. I was planning to ignore this one but well, I chose not to I guess. Heh. I floundered around last week, doing nothing particularly constructive and didn't even feel bad about it. Well, maybe a little, but that was just out of habit. I did start two portraits on Thursday. I was feeling a bit lukewarm about them and decided not to do any more until I had a chance to think about them a bit, then Doug came up and said he didn't like the cropping. Blech! But today, after looking at them again, I have decided to keep working on them. The worst that will happen if I do that, is that I might figure out a few things about this series. Oh and will probably have to add two more sucky paintings to the sand down pile, which I am totally used to doing. Not a bad worst case scenario.

And on Sunday I decided to do a whole bunch of Horizon Line paintings. A few larger ones along with about 10 very small ones, which will be divided between my sales blog and the little shop at the local arts organization.

So I am pulling out of this stupid meltdown and good thing too because I really have much to do, even though my next show isn't until August. First and foremost, I need to find some additional gallery representation, I have let that go WAY too long!

But of course this week is spring break for the kids and so I know that I will not be able to get too much done, but whatever. Will probably squeeze in a few hours in the studio between my duties as cruise director and/or referee!

Winter Break Update

Long Lines Late in the Day, 2009, Oil on Birch Panel, 12x24

Here's what's up this week:

1. The kids are home all week for winter break and just to insure that I don't get much of anything done, Doug scheduled a business trip for this week as well. Actually, he didn't do it on purpose, usually I mark the vacations on the MASTER CALENDER and he is supposed to check the MASTER CALENDER when he schedules a business trip but I missed this one for some reason and so he has been gone since Sunday, returning tonight, thankfully. I guess I shouldn't complain because this snafu is definitely my fault.

2. And I really shouldn't be complaining at all about not getting any work done this week either as the kids have been totally doing their own thing and while they have been coming up to my studio quite a bit with various issues, physical ailments, and their side of the story concerning the most recent argument, overall I have been able to be in the studio everyday. I haven't been terribly productive but it's been ok. The KIDS should be really bored, but they don't seem to be. I guess it's nice for them to take a week and just do some quiet relaxing things, like reading, art projects and watching tv, as normally they have pretty busy and full days when school is in session.

3. Part of the reason that I haven't been terribly productive is that I fell off the wagon and straight into a river of chocolate! I was doing great with the no flour/no sugar thing (still no flour actually) but I had a few Lindt truffles which sent me spiraling out of control and back into a full out obsession with procuring and eating chocolate. Dang! Will be spending the next few days trying to get that back under control again.

4. Mr. Wilson is feeling better today after his return yesterday from a night at the vet's office. He had um, a procedure, and is now, well let's just say he is more neutral about things. Lately he has been driving us all crazy with his doggy adolescent behavior, panting and whining all the time and humping Penny's feet (he's short, she's tall, it's all he can get to), the cats (they were not happy about that) and even the furniture legs.

PS. If you are opposed to altering pets and feel the need to write to me about it, save it. I already know the pros and cons of this issue, plus I am also a little crabby today so my response might not be pretty!

5. And while I am at it, I may as well give an update on the chickens too. They stopped laying eggs in September or so. I figured they were molting, although I was a bit surprised that they were all doing it at once, since some of the hens are a year younger that the others. But after talking to a few friends that also raise chickens I learned that often the whole flock goes at the same time. I could have messed with the molting by supplementing their light to get them laying again, but our chicken house is pretty rustic, no power, no water and so getting them extra light seemed like way too much work. So I let the chickens have a rest from popping an egg out everyday. Anyway, we really suffered without our daily eggs, it was a sad day when we started buying them at the store again. Even the cage free organic eggs were disappointing. Not as fresh as what we are used to I guess. The chickens look beautiful now though after their rest, they grew back all their feathers (some of them were almost completely bald before they began molting, they looked VERY scary) and they seem more friendly too, although I might be imagining that. They gradually began laying eggs about a month ago and now we are overflowing with eggs again.

6. I have five landscape paintings finished for my upcoming show (one is kind of iffy, so there might just be four), and also have four underpaintings ready for color. If I work on those this weekend I will be able to get right back on schedule. I am really enjoying getting back to the landscapes. After a six month break from painting the landscape I wasn't sure if I would feel good about them again, or stifled.

7. Am still working on the People You Know series, today I plan to work on the two larger panels that I started a few weeks ago. I worked on one yesterday, but kept getting sidetracked, but I will try to finish it up soon.

8. Oh and I missed my blog anniversary again. It's been three years (as of February 10), 635 posts, and over 200,000 unique visitors since I started this project that has nearly ruled my life! I am still enjoying all this but also sense that some changes here in Tracyland may be coming too.

Well, I guess that's it, that's all I have going on. Even though I have much work to do, and am making progress with it all, I still feel like I am floundering around in a haze.

I blame the chocolate.

Fine Art is a Good Gift This Year

Tracks in the Snow, 2008, Oil on Panel, 8x10

In 1995, Doug and I lived in northern Utah. Our nephew (we later adopted him) was living with us and our other son was just a baby. We had moved out there in 1993 so that Doug could work full time with a holography company that he had invested in years earlier. We had just moved into our second crappy rental house, we had been asked to move out of the first one because we were late with the rent a few times, um because Doug's company was doing badly and his pay was erratic. Soon after we moved into the second house, the company actually filed for bankruptcy and obviously we were in trouble. I was a stay at home mom and Doug's partner literally told Doug that he should make me get a job. You know, to help out. Never mind that that would require all kinds of extra expenses, like day care, transportation, clothing which would probably just about equal any kind of low paying job that was even available in the area we lived in. Plus, there was no chance that I would be handing my child over to day care, that was something we both felt very strongly about.

Doug applied for unemployment and my unpaid job was to make sure that we were living as frugally as possible. I cooked everything from scratch (cheaper than buying packaged foods, even with coupons), there were NO extras allowed, no movies, no eating out, no shopping, no extra driving, nothing. We managed to get the rent paid on time each month, and kept up as well as we could with the other bills. Even though this was a very stressful time, it was also a very happy time for us. Our baby was unbearably cute and fun and mostly we just looked at him all day which didn't cost anything! The financial difficulties brought Doug and I even closer. We kept our heads, assigned no blame, put together a plan and stuck to it. We worked as a team to handle our finances.

So in the spirit of team work, I have put up yet another blog. It's called The Fine Art Department and I'd like to post an image, a short description and link to artists who are selling their own work. The economy is tough and those of us who (try to) make a living selling our work have been greatly affected. Obviously, I hope that if one has limited funds, they will pay for food, insurance, mortgage, etc. first, however perhaps there are still a few folks who can squeeze out a couple of bucks to buy a piece of art to enjoy or to give as a gift. If artists aren't selling anything, they are also not buying anything either or paying their bills or the mortgage and the dominoes will keep falling. I realize that not every art buyer wants to buy my art (what?) so I'd like to offer some alternatives and hopefully somebody will make a few sales, even if it's not me.

So. If you have a website, an Etsy page, an Ebay store etc, where you directly sell your work, and would like to have your link included on The Fine Art Department, please email me. No sales will go through the The Fine Art Department, all sales must go through the individual artists sites. Please include a jpeg (72dpi), a short description and price info, and the link and I will load it onto the site. Then please post a link to the The Fine Art Department on your sidebar, preferably in a prominent position rather than in a blogroll. I was hoping to make it blink or something (at least through the holidays) on my sidebar but I need help with setting that up; I know that Chris knows how to do that, maybe he will give a tutorial. heh. Anyway, I get about 300-500 hits here each day, and I will also send this link out to all of my real life, art buying friends, and if all of you do the same, maybe we can get some good traffic. I am just a simple girl and confess to having little to no understanding of search engines and all of that so any other ideas would be great.

Let's try and work together to get through this lousy, stupid ass economy, 'k?

PS. Things eventually worked out for us back in 1995. Within a few days of the bankruptcy, Doug started getting job offers and other opportunities within the holography industry, so that was very encouraging. And within a few more months, one of their old clients decided to buy the company out of bankruptcy. Doug became a partner, was put in charge of the plant, got a signing bonus and we were soon able to get out of debt and buy our first house. Doug and I learned that we were a great team, and also that talking about money while in bed was a bad idea, two lessons that we still truly appreciate and which are coming in handy right now.

EDIT: I have been flooded with submissions for The Fine Art Department! I have decided to keep it relatively small (25-30 artists) and I already have 26. You can send me your info, but unfortunately I probably won't add it. Sorry.

Art in the Family

Fall Away, 2008, Oil on Gessobord, 5x5

So with two parents who are artists* all of our children have varying degrees of and interest in art. Our oldest son, who is handicapped and is also adopted has seemingly picked it up by osmosis. Language isn't his strong suit and he never participates in any art projects at home. However he does wonderful things at school and we are always blown away by whatever drawing or painting or sculpture actually makes it home.

Our 13 year old son has probably been the most consistently interested in art and has been telling us that he wants to do to art college for years already. He loves pottery and I have a whole bookshelf full of clay bowls and sculptures to prove it. He has recently been really into throwing pots, however that's been on hold during football season. He doesn't draw too much anymore but once in awhile he does something wonderful, he did this sketch of Penny when he was about nine:

When he was younger, he went through reams of paper, writing and illustrating the adventures of his character FUNNY BUNNY in comic book form, based on a beanie baby that someone gave him once. You know, Funny Bunny Saves the Sun from Blowing Up, Funny Bunny vs. Godzilla, that sort of thing. He has also played around with computer animation and you can see a few of them here. (obviously he is not 21, shhh)

Our oldest daughter, who is now eleven, has not done much in the way of drawing or painting over the last few years, although she has been doing a lot beading and other craft projects-things she and all her friends enjoy. This year she began middle school and has simply fallen in love with art, thanks to the awesome art teacher at her school. She is so excited about everything she is doing in the class and has also joined the school art club (she also is in the drama club and plays clarinet and will be starting piano lessons soon). I bought her some pastels and she has been busy doing all kinds of drawings in her sketchbook and then last night she did this self-portrait in watercolor:

I may have to get some tips from her on the portraits I am working on.

Our youngest daughter, Ginger, LOVES painting and her artwork has graced a few of our holiday cards. She is incredibly enthusiastic about everything and I suspect that she might make a very good assemblage artist someday, based on the fact that she is a total pack rat and is always hot gluing stuff together. In the meantime, she is also involved in music, plays percussion in the fourth grade band, and does lovely, very elaborate drawing of animals and ladies with up-do hair styles.

Of course art projects have always been a big thing around our house, but the kid's interest in them comes and goes. We don't push it either way and just try to go with whatever they are into at the moment. We have a lot of art on our walls, which we enjoy but the kids don't seem to pay much attention to any of it. Maybe it is soaking into their sub-conscious though, I hope so. And my older daughter has been spending quite a bit of time lately looking through my art books.

I love though, that they all have a wide variety of interests, with art being just one of them, which is something I didn't really have when I was a kid. I was sort of pegged as an artist when I was young, which was fine, I knew that I wanted to be an artist when I was five, but when I made noise about doing other things, like writing or being a special needs teacher, I didn't get any encouragement. I grew up believing that I was good at only one thing, something that I have tried to change as an adult, by learning how to do other things (um except for math, which I suspect I will never figure out). So that is a lesson learned and while our life clearly revolves around art, we make sure to encourage and support our kid's other interests too.

However, I can't say that Doug and I won't be doing more than a few happy dances if anyone decides to attend art college.

*Doug has a BFA from Tyler in photography and sculpture. He is an artist at heart, and his interest in photography led to holography, a field in which he was very successful, both as a creator and and in the business side. But he will get back to his own art someday, I know.

More on Underpaintings

I did another underpainting on Friday (see close ups below). Even though I am excited about doing these I find myself procrastinating terribly when it comes time to actually sit down and get started. To the extent that I waste almost the entire day and then have to work quickly in the last part of the day before my mom thing starts up again. At first I wasn't sure why I kept doing this, I love doing the underpaintings no matter what the subject is and usually I love how they turn out. But doing them is intense and while it is exhilarating it also requires much energy and I am always drained after. It's all good of course, but I think the intensity of all that scares me a little.

Doug and I have spent a lot of time talking about leaving the underpaintings as is or pursuing the color. As I said before he thinks I should let them be, but I am feeling this intense need to apply color. I love doing the underpaintings more than anything, but I really need the challenge of painting in color too. Making the underpaintings would be fun, but too easy, I think, and while that is tempting I know that ultimately it wouldn't be very good for me or my work. So I am pressing on and will try to not mess these up.

Anyway, we did come to one conclusion. Hello! I can still do more underpaintings anytime, even of the same images, over and over if I want (I am the artist, I get to do what I want) in which case I would do some things differently. More darks, more lines, more randomness. So things are good, either way.

And I just wanted to thank everyone who commented on my last post about dwindling sales. It is comforting to know that it isn't just me being affected and inspiring to hear how we are all trying to find ways to get by, whether it's by painting larger or smaller or selling in different venues, or using the downtime to develop new directions or to build up inventory.

Despite the difficulties now in selling art, I am still trying my best to not take a wrong turn here out of desperation and to (hopefully) keep my dignity. Well whatever dignity I still possess, of course. Heh. That's all relative, I suppose.


I am really proud of this polka dotted dress:

and it is a good example of how I would handle it if I weren't going to go back in with color. This area will be tough to handle and I have no idea how to do that right now. I know that to add color later, the underpainting should be more refined, but I just couldn't help myself here and I left it the way I liked it.

Doug's Bee Drawing

In a recent post I wrote about painting our new living room and also posted a photo of a few things that we hung on the wall already. Steven LaRose was intrigued enough about one item (the other item was one of his paintings) to ask about it and even drew his own version of it.

So today I am putting up the original and will inflict its story upon you all as well. Heh. When Doug was about four, he got stung by a bee. His mom encouraged him to draw a picture of the offending bee and so this was what he came up with. The lines on the front legs (which I thought were BIG HUGE MULTIPLE stingers) are actually what he thought must be making the buzzing sound. And he did make the stinger pretty prominent, it's on the end of the tail and runs off the page it's so big.

I have always liked this drawing (such great line quality!) and a few years back I had it framed up. Since then, it has always been displayed somewhere in our home, mixed right in with our kid's art and the work by other artists that we have been collecting over the years.

PS. The drawing was done on newsprint with some sort of cray-pas with water. It's held up pretty dang well considering it was done close to 50 years ago and makes me reconsider the stress and worry I go through when working on paper.....

Odds and Ends

October Trees, 2008, Oil on Gessobord, 5x5

This is a good day for a few odds and ends. The painting above is from the batch of small paintings that I have been working on and I posted it because it is pretty much how it looked here yesterday. Bright blue sky, vividly colored trees and yellow fields. We tried to get some outside work done but it was actually rather chilly and I ended up inside mostly, cleaning and baking, neither of which I have done much of recently. But the grass got mowed, hopefully for the last time this year, the first batch (many more to come!) of fallen leaves got raked and put into the mulch bin and Doug finally brought down the pumpkins from our garden. This wasn't a very good pumpkin year around here, too much rain but oddly, ours did pretty well. I actually forgot about them-we planted them in the far back corner, then everything got really overgrown and I never even did go back there to check on them. Which is probably why they did so well, no one was messing with them. heh.

So they are out front now and I took a few gratuitous shots of Mr. Wilson perched on the big pumpkins.



And since Ginger is involved in everything, here she is too.



This image of Ginger reminds me of a photo that I recently came across. It's a (vintage) school picture of me in 1974 (when exactly did the 70's become vintage?), in fourth grade, same grade as Ginger is in this year. Slight resemblance, eh?



New studio news: Even I didn't think it was possible to fit one more thing into this room, but I managed it anyway. I decided not to hook up the baseboard heating this year (although I may regret that decision in January) and make do with a portable electric heater. I found a nifty one with enough btu's to heat the whole room AND it has a fake fire? What a find! I was a bit disappointed when it arrived however, as the fire is pretty realistic, well as far as fake fires go. I was hoping for a cheesier display maybe with a spinning paper log or a foil background but I'll have to just settle for improved technological illusions.


And this time of the year always reminds me of when Doug and I met in Philadelphia in 1988. This year marks 20 years for us which strangely seems like forever (almost half my life!) yet it has passed in the blink of an eye. Nothing special in the works to commemorate this anniversary, we are just trying to appreciate each day with each other and with our kids a little more than usual.

How We Met

Doug and I in 1990. He is holding the camera and looks more jowly than he actually was.

In September of 1988 I was coming off a very bad summer. I had spent far too much time mooching beer from my friends at the bars in Center City, often walking home at 2am because I didn't have a dollar and change for the subway. I was incredibly poor, even losing weight because I didn't have money for food. I couldn't find a decent job and only managed to get through the summer by borrowing $800 from my great Aunt Esther, (a true low point for me, borrowing money from her) who was very disappointed in me because I hadn't actually gotten my degree. I lived in a really dark and depressing upstairs apartment in a rowhouse in South Philly and it was maybe the hottest, most humid summer ever.

Finally in September I called about a listing posted on the college job boards. It was a temporary job doing assembly at a small holographic company on North Delaware Avenue. I worked there for about 2 weeks, along side a guy named Mike (his favorite band was Toto and he had the best mullet ever) assembling holographic calculators that were to be shipped off to The Sharper Image catalog. A guy named Paul supervised us and there were two other guys, Mike and Bob who were partners in the company. Mike handled sales and marketing and Bob did the graphics. They were all very nice and a lot of fun to work with and I really enjoyed the atmosphere. During the few weeks I was there I kept hearing about Doug, who was out in Utah but I never did meet him while I did the assembly work. About a week or so after that job ended, I got a call from Paul who said that they were looking for a secretary, a permanent position, and wondered if I could come in and talk to the owner, Doug. I was pretty sure that I would be a terrible secretary and that that kind of job was totally beneath me, but I also was desperate for some income and so I said yes.

Holographic Design was located in a beautiful loft space in a converted warehouse space. Across from the building was a sauerkraut factory that emitted the most disgusting smells in the summer. Open vats of sauerkraut we often sitting on the street in front of the door to the loft and oh my god, the flies! Neither of us can eat sauerkraut to this day. When I went in for the interview I recall walking up the steps to the reception desk, idly wondering if he might be someone that I might like (as in like, like), where Doug was talking on the phone. However when I saw him he didn't seem my type, as I usually preferred guys who were jerks, and I could tell right away that he was nice. He seemed too old (um, 31, practically ancient, heh) and maybe kind of square. So I forgot about all of that silliness and we talked for awhile. He asked me if I could start the next day and I said ok. Later on he said he felt like there was something going on between us during the interview and that he was flirting with me. I have since learned that he is terrible at flirting, which makes it all the more cute when he tries it.

Anyway, I started to work there and I really enjoyed it. Turns out I was pretty good at answering the phones and handling customers and I learned to use their newfangled Mac Classic computer. And within a few days I realized that I really liked Doug, that he was totally my type and that he was the guy for me. I didn't know much about his personal life, other than that he lived upstairs from the office and that he seemed to work all of the time. One of his partners was married and the other was getting married, so I just assumed that Doug must have a girlfriend or something and I recall that I didn't want to know, because I would be devastated to have to keep working there and see him getting married. I remember sitting at the bar at McGlinchey's one night, pouring out my sob story to a friend of mine, that I was in love with my boss and surely he has a girlfriend, waaaaaa. But I got the real scoop soon enough. I was invited to go out for drinks with everyone after work on Doug's birthday, October 10, which was about 2 weeks after I began working there. We all went to the bar at Society Hill Hotel and during the course of the evening I found out that he was unattached. My crush spiraled out of control! Doug went off to have dinner with his father and I went home feeling incredibly giddy. On that evening I had picked up a few vibes from him and anything seemed possible.

Over the next few weeks we hung out a bit after work, often along with some of his friends, and it was all very casual. I showed him my work and he seemed very impressed, and I learned that he had a BFA in Photography and sculpture from Tyler, so I was impressed. I guess I knew he was interested in me but I wasn't really sure until we went to a Halloween party at the photographer's loft next door. It was a costume party and everybody was fabulously dressed, but I did not wear a costume, other than my usual all black of course. Doug felt he had to dress up somehow, he was wearing a red shirt and a brown tweed coat and then he strapped a big round Fresnel lens to his face, which made his face look HUGE. He looked like a complete idiot! At one point during the evening he put his arm around me, bumped my head with the lens and that was it. I finally knew for sure that he liked liked me.

As we began to get closer we kept it quiet. None of my friends, including Cecily, thought Doug and I were right for each other. And eventually his partners found out about our relationship. That went ok at first, I don't think anyone thought it would last and it was excellent office gossip fodder, but after awhile things got a bit difficult and Doug's friend/lawyer began to give him grief about what a bad idea it was to date an employee. I didn't handle the situation very well with his partners either (I was only 23, and very stupid!) and was much less sensitive than I could have been. In 1990 or so, Doug decided to partner up with another group, which involved a move to Connecticut. Mike and Bob didn't want to relocate so they left the company and found work elsewhere. Doug asked me to go along with him and I joined him there after a few months. We rented a big, old beautiful house in Milford, CT and in 1993, five years after we met, we got married in the living room of that house by a justice of the peace. There have been a few bumps and a near divorce, but mostly our years together have been blissfully happy, despite our scandalous beginning!

I love you Doug, happy birthday, oh and thanks for hiring me for the secretary job, starting salary 10,000.

I Changed My Mind

Barn at the Edge of the Woods, 2007. Oil on Panel, 8x10

A few days ago, Katherine tagged me and I declined to participate. I don't usually like to "join in" with things, plus it seemed difficult to imagine what I could actually tell you about me that I haven't already mentioned. But now, I feel like a jerk for not saying yes. So I have decided to play along and I am sure you are all just so relieved and happy to hear that. Heh.

And it turns out that there are a few things I haven't talked about. So here are seven things about me:

1. When I was in my early teen years, I lived with a friend's family in a two bedroom trailer mobile home located in the "good" trailer court in town. There was even a swimming pool (!) for residents only and my friend and I spent our pubescent summer days there trying to get the neighbor boys to like us. But still, it was a trailer park, and well, ick. There was a unique social order there that was mostly based on the size and quality of your mobile home. We were considered mid-level, ours was a single wide rather than double, however it was relatively new instead of old and crappy.

2. I lived in several foster homes as a teen and even though the last one was a really good one (I am still very close with them) I was fed up being so monitored and so I just left when I was seventeen. I rented a room in a house with seven male roommates which was fun, yet exceedingly stupid in retrospect. I had two jobs and managed to graduate from high school despite all of the distractions.

3. Plan A in high school was to go to art college. If I didn't get accepted, Plan B was to become a special education teacher. I had worked as an aide in several special ed classrooms and was encouraged to become a teacher. I was accepted to art school, but ended up spending many years researching special needs anyway after we adopted our handicapped nephew. Which was an odd turn of events because...

4. ....despite having four kids and a dog, I am not really a kid person and I feel really awkward with teenagers. I have never really liked dogs much either. But I love my kids more than anything and now that we have Penny, I find myself having conversations about dogs with other dog owners.

5. I have mentioned this before but just to clarify, I was a complete and total barfly when I lived in Philadelphia. My favorite hang outs were McGlinchey's and Dirty Franks. Both of which are still going strong by without me, by the way. Like the trailer court there was a social order there too, and again, I was somewhere in the middle. Story of my life I guess.

6. I stopped being a barfly when I met Doug in 1988. He was actually my boss and three weeks after he hired me as his secretary we were in love. It was a bit of a scandal at the time but it worked out ok, I think.

7. I am a big time Howard Stern fan. He won me over one day in 1988 when he spent 45 minutes talking about whether his glasses looked better high up on his nose or lower down. Very endearing. I listened to him everyday until we moved to Utah and then I couldn't hear his show for 10 years. I picked him back up when we moved to NY and followed him to Sirius and while I don't pay much attention to the strippers and sex talk, I love the show best when they are all just sitting around talking about tv shows, politics and other current topics. I really love Artie (he replaced Jackie while I was gone) and I have to admit that my daily schedule generally revolves around his show.

Geez, hope I don't lose too many readers over #7. Anyway, my blog picks are:

Stacy and Shan chronicle their busy lives which include, like mine, a busy family life and making and selling their art.

Lisa Call is an artist with a day job who also spends more time in her studio than I do. She makes the most incredible quilts and has a wicked sense of humor.

James Wolanin is a painter preparing for his first solo show in NYC this fall. I am very excited for him.

Paul Butzi shows his beautiful photography as well as discussing issues concerning supplies, equipment and going digital. He also bought 10 boxes of girl scout cookies from me to send to his kids in college. Nice dad!

Rebecca is another kindred spirit. She describes her work, family and gallery dealings. Plus, I love her work.

Joe Kazimiercxyk is a plein aire painter who depicts the landscape in and around Bucks County, PA. Doug and I used to spend weekends exploring that area and seeing Joe's work always reminds me of those long drives.

Scale

June Field, 2007, Oil on Panel, 36x48

After the first color session.


After the second color session.

Normally when I work on larger scale paintings (bigger than 24x36, which is a size I do ok with) I am very uncomfortable. And not in a good, productive way. While I am excited about the challenge of the scale change, I also tend to tighten up and worry, which is usually reflected in the painting. The pieces haven't been horrible, none have ended up in the sand down pile or anything and I have even sold a few of them, but I haven't been exceptionally pleased with most of them either.

This time, because of a combination of factors I was much more relaxed when I began work on two large panels. I have finally gotten over the intimidation of the cost of a 36x48 sized panel ($140-yikes!) by continually reminding myself that it can always be sanded down and reused. A total pain in the neck but it can be done. And because I have been distracted in general, by a number of thing outside of the studio such as the kid's schedule, family stuff, how much work needs to be done on our house and property, money issues and even the hen that has gone broody (more on that another day), I was able to paint without getting myself all worked up beforehand. Sometimes not focusing on what I am doing really takes the pressure off and gets me into the groove before I can worry about getting there myself.

The first painting (on the left, in the second photo from top) painted itself. It's an image of a field down the road that I have painted a number of times (most recently here), but never at this scale, so that was a good challenge. Feeling high after finishing up that one I dove into the next one (on the right) and after the first layer ended up with a very loosely painted image. It was a lot of fun to paint and I was feeling rather invincible after the first piece so I convinced myself the second one was fab too. Then Doug came in to give his critique, which was fairly negative. After seriously considering winging my loaded brush at his head (just kidding, well kinda) I shook myself back into reality and realized he was pretty much right. Yesterday I struggled with the painting a bit more and it's closer now to working (on the right in third photo from top), I think.

And to confirm this recent pattern, I am also working on two 24x24 panels (see below) and nearly the exact same thing happened-the first one painted itself and I am struggling with the second one, the one I felt the most confidence in to begin with.

This experience is a very good example of the fine line that I must walk between self consciousness, overconfidence and humility. Too much, or not enough of any of those things and I am out on the porch with my palm sander, wearing a mask and sanding paint off a $140 chunk of wood.

Good 24x24


Bad 24x24, although there is still hope.

Updates

Every Other, 2007, Oil on Panel, 20x24


A few super thrilling updates on life here in the country.

The chicken in the house (the laundry room to be more specific) is still alive. She isn't exactly better but she isn't worse either. Which leaves me in a bit of limbo. She can't go back into the coop because she still seems to be unable to walk very well, but I am not sure how long we should keep her in the house either. It doesn't seem to bother her to have numerous cats staring at her all day or a bird dog sleeping in the crate below her, so I will give it some more time I guess. She is eating though which is a good sign.

We have had enough rain and warm temperatures in the last week or so to make some excellent progress in getting rid of a lot of our snow. The huge drift on our patio is still pretty big, but it's much easier to get around to fill the bird feeders and get to the chicken coop. I felt giddy the other day when the front sidewalk became visible.

Painting? Oh right, this is a painting blog. I have been working each day, still at a fairly slow pace and starting too late in the day to be really productive. Yesterday I worked on another house painting, got the whole thing painted and then decided that the colors weren't working. So I rubbed off parts of it thinking I could try a few different colors to make it work but finally I just took all of the paint off and will go back to it today. I am not as frustrated as I probably should be, because I had this hinky feeling the whole time that I was working on it and was not in the groove at all. Which is totally no fun. So I am glad to be able to start again today as it is a nice composition, worth saving.

Despite working so slowly when I was hibernating and should have really been able to crank out some paintings, I actually have quite a bit of good work stacked up, waiting to be delivered to various galleries. I will be taking a short trip soon to do that.

And Doug is finally home, which we are all very happy about, believe you me! He was in the city for two weeks doing back to back trade shows and even though we are used to how much he travels, this was a bit much. The up side for everyone now is that he is totally in charge of everything this weekend. Darn, that means I'll be missing the (lame) circus to be held in the high school gymnasium tonight. I'll be so sad about that while I sit home in a quiet house and watch a DVD. Without interruption. I am practically in tears just thinking about it.

Evolution and Circularity

Miller's Pond in Winter, 2005, Oil on Panel, 8x8







When I was an art student in Minneapolis and then later in Philadelphia, the instructors often urged and sometimes required us to attend opening receptions at the school's gallery or out in the city's galleries. We'd go, usually in packs, dressed in black, with purple or red or blue hair and body piercings, and smelling of patchouli and probably pot. We'd make a beeline for the free food, ignore the artist (we were way to cool to actually discuss art with the artist), look briefly at the art, and have a fierce discussion about it's relevancy. Then we'd leave and go get drunk/and or stoned at someone's apartment or at a bar. After I had finished school and met Doug in 1988, he and I often went to openings at various galleries in Philly. We usually went with his father who was an artist and graphic designer and he usually knew the artist and many people at the event so we'd spend hours talking and socializing with them. We'd have dinner first, skip the free food and drink wine. Then we'd go home, discuss the show and well, we were newly in love, so I'll just leave it at that...Later on we lived in Utah for a number of years and by that time we were parents. We were deeply involved in the local art scene and still enjoyed attending show openings. We knew everyone and they were a lot of fun. However, since we didn't use sitters much when our kids were babies, we usually carried them along. You just haven't lived until you've tried to discuss the meaning of art with spit up on your shoulder and leaking breasts. We'd be home by 9pm and in bed sleeping by 10pm.

Fast forward a few years and we have a whole new thing going on! We have been lucky enough to find a fabulous sitter, Mary Jo and her miniature schnauzer, Pepper Ann. She is a teacher and a chef and always brings projects for the kids. The kids love her and we are so happy to be able to go away once in awhile. So now that I am showing my work, Doug and I have been able to take short trips to attend my gallery openings. Often we stay overnight, we had a nice stay in Cape Cod last fall and another nice trip to Northampton, MA in December. It's interesting to be on the other side of an opening. I don't drink alcohol anymore so I have a glass of ice water, I don't eat in case I get anything stuck in my teeth or spray food while talking, and I make sure that I have breath mints in my purse. Some things haven't changed-I do still usually wear black, my hair is still red, though a bit toned down, and I still have my nose ring. Doug gets into all kinds of interesting conversations with people about the current quality of art in today's world, while I am usually answering questions like how long does it take to do a painting and where do I get my ideas. What's really fascinating now though, is that at my openings, I see myself at every opening I have ever been to, I am there in the college kids who won't look at me, the earnest young artists and art lovers who want to talk about painting all night and the frazzled parents trying have a night out.

So, tomorrow, Mary Jo is coming and we are off to the Enderlin Gallery in Roxbury, NY. I have a few pieces in a group show called "Snowscapes". I am new to this gallery, the director called me after having seen my work in a show at the Roxbury Arts Group. They have been really enthusiastic about my paintings, and I will be in several exhibitions there this year. I am looking forward to this opening-Roxbury has a really hopping little art scene and there are always very interesting people at the openings. "Miller's Pond in Winter" is in this show-it is a loose interpretation of the pond on our property.

By the way, the opening reception is at the Enderlin Gallery (enderlingallery.com), Main Street, Roxbury, NY, Saturday, February 18, 2-5pm.