Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Different


I have quite a bit of work that I should be doing, including several shows to prepare for, yet I am having quite a lot of trouble getting uninterrupted time in the studio. I blame the kids for this although it's possible that the magnetic pull from the computer screen has something to do with is as well. But mostly I blame the kids. Seriously. I can't believe I ever thought life was hectic when they were babies! Even though they are off to school during the day and supposedly that's my studio time, lately their needs are taking over that time as well, what with meetings, sewing things, dropping stuff off somewhere, laundry and picking stuff up all. the. time. It seems endless.

I used to be disciplined enough to just sit down and work in whatever time was available, but I have lost that. Partly because my studio is in the attic now, and not downstairs in the middle of everything like it used to be, which had its own problems. But mostly I think it's because my work and career have been in so much flux in the last few years. My excitement for working in the studio has changed; and it has taken me some time to see that it's not gone, it's just different. I have been letting that change throw me off but lately I am trying to work with it rather than trying to force myself to have the same intensity that I had years ago. Things are different now. I am different now. After many long discussions with Doug, I have come to see that despite all these changes in my work habits (which I have considered to be laziness and procrastination) my work has continued to grow and evolve. It's also more consistent; I make far, FAR less paintings for the sand down pile. So I need to accept these shifts and give myself permission to change without flipping out about it all the time. heh.

Anyway, it took me an embarrassingly long time to get around to starting this batch of small format paintings, but I finally managed it yesterday. The second I started moving the paint around I was in love with making art again so everything is right even if everything is different.

7 comments:

Martha Marshall said...

Tracy, I can so identify. Even though my kids are all gone now, and don't even live near me, there's still just "life" that gets right in the middle of my attempts at studio time. But like you, I'm just going with the flow.

You've made an important discovery: the art keeps on happening no matter what, even in the background, when you're just living your life.

Maggie Latham said...

Tracy, such interesting words about how your life and work ethics have changed. I loved the bit about having far less paintings for the sand down pile…that has given me real hope for myself! Such a lot of lovely ‘starts’ posted here, it will be really nice to see them evolve. Are you still using your cradled wood panels you favoured in earlier posts?

Happy Little Trees Studio said...

I love that you're sort of re-evaluated and realized the good in those changes. Great post!

Tracy said...

Thanks, martha, well I am TRYING to go with he flow! I have a tendency to beat myself up about things that I think I should be doing, instead of accepting reality;)

Maggie, thank you, and yes I am still totally in love with my cradled wood panels;) I work on gessoed paper sometimes, for experimental things, but I still prefer the wood panels.

Thanks, Kim, well it HAS been a rather lengthy process, I tend to hang on to things for far too long;)

Ann Knickerbocker said...

I am a painter, too, and it can be difficult to work the way my husband does ... So consistently, in what he calls "the interstices." But switching gears or work methods or studios is good for the work in the long run! (Ruts are not any good, either!). I like this piece you have posted now. Visit my blog when you get your next break... And good luck!

Anne McAlear said...

Wow. I could have written that post myself. It's somewhat comforting to know that there is a group out there that is going through the same thing. Now I just wish we could all come up with some sort of antidote that would clear everyone's predicament.

Natalya Aikens said...

when I saw the pic at the top of the post for a split second I thought I was looking at a wooden carved statue!
Ah yes kids invading the work time....I've got those too....