Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Goodbyes

I will not be posting again until next week. As some of you may recall, my mother has been struggling with lung cancer this past year (I wrote about it here) and I just found out that she doesn't have much time left. Last month she had whole head radiation after more tumors had developed in her brain. Once that was over she had several different infections and now the lung tumor which had basically been eradicated by chemo has tripled in size over the last few weeks. She only has the use of one half of one lung. Her doctor says she has anywhere from a few days to a few weeks at the most. So on Wednesday, the members of our small and scattered family are headed to New Mexico to spend a few last minutes with her.

In the early days of this blog, I had about 12 hits per day, tops. And most of those were from my mom. I realized I would have to self-censor a bit, but nonetheless we had some humorous exchanges after my description of my college days. Good thing I didn't write about everything! Anyway, I was always comforted to see her IP address in the stats each day and sometimes several times each day, knowing that she was interested in hearing what I was up to. I have missed that in the last few months as she has been too ill to do anything. She has missed this little community too. Every time I have talked to her recently, she has said that she hopes to get back to the computer soon in order to check up on me. She also began to read the blogs of some the regulars here and struck up an email friendship with Bart which she really enjoyed. He was so kind to her and even sent her one of his drawings recently.

I can't believe she won't be here anymore.

37 comments:

Melody said...

My thoughts are with you and your family

jcitybone said...

So sad to hear this--my thoughts are with you too
Brian

Ann K. said...

Tracy---I am so sorry. I too will be thinking of you in the coming days and wishing you and your family well.

bridgette said...

I am so sorry tracy to hear that your mother's health has worsened. I remember that original post. My thoughts are with you and your family. Wishin you all lots of love and strength to get through this.

Jayne Rose said...

Tracy, I'm sorry to hear about your mom. When she did post, she was always so funny. Her sense of humor will definitely live on through you.

Take care of your family and yourself.

Tracy said...

Thanks so much everyone, for the kind words and good thoughts. I can't tell you how much I appreciate all of this.

Tina said...

Tracy, I've never commented but lurk often. Your mom and family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Robin said...

Sorry to learn that your mom's health is worsening. Aunt Shirley has been keeping us updated also. I will be thinking of you.

The Epiphany Artist said...

God Bless you and your family and may He keep His angels around all of you.

Tracy said...

Thanks so much Robin. So nice to hear from you again and I appreciate your good thoughts.

Tracy said...

Thanks so much Terry. You are so thoughtful.

Cecily said...

I'm so sorry, honey. After all the years and challenges you've had with her, it's still got to be so tough. Please take care of yourself while you go through this difficult time. Don't forget to say anything you want to say...

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Tracy said...

Cecily, thanks so much, I know you understand how challenging this is to me. Luckily, she and I have had some good talks over the last few years and I don't think anything has not been said. This chance to say goodbye is just icing on the cake as far as that goes. I am lucky to have that.

Don't worry I am taking care of myself, why I have been eating chocolate all day:)

Melissa said...

Tracy,
I am sorry to hear about your mother... I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

zs said...

So sorry to hear about this difficult time for you, Tracy. I'll be thinking about you.

Susan Constanse said...

My sympathy is with you, Tracy. I am so sorry.

Sunil said...

'Tat Tvam Asi'

GiselleG said...

Tracy
I am so sorry to hear about your mother. My thoughts go out to you and your family.

Tracy said...

Thanks Tina, and I am glad you have de-lurked for a minute to help me feel a bit better:)

And thank you Melissa, Zoe, Susan and Giselle, for your sympathies. I am feeling a bit teary eyed from reading all of these thoughtful comments.

Sunil, what a lovely phrase, I looked it up, "thou art that"? I am a bit too dazed right now to fully understand the concept but I will try again, as it sounds very interesting. Thank you.

indigomar said...

Tracy, my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. As you said, everyone has left wonderful comments. I add to the support they offer.
Mary Ann

Kesha Bruce said...

Tracy, so sorry. This must be a really difficult time for the whole family. I have no words of wisdom, but in sympathy I am eating chocolate too.

Martha Marshall said...

Tracy, I'll be thinking of you.

mary klein said...

Tracy, I am so sorry - you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Elio said...

Tracy
I am so sorry to hear about your mother. Best wishes to you and your family.

E

drips of paint said...

may peace be with your Mum, yourself and your family.....

god bless you all and take care

melanie said...

my first visit here so i don't know the history, but i was so touched by hearing about your mom's visits to your blog. so sweet. i wish you and your family much love and strength as you cherish this time together. xo

Rita said...

I check your blog every day and learn as well as enjoy. The pending loss of your Mum feels almost personal to me. It is not an idle phrase that I will be thinking of you and your family.

amber said...

Tracey I'm sorry to hear about your mom
I can only imagine the kind of strengh it will take
I am sending up my prayers for you and your family

Lauren said...

Sorry sorry to hear about your mum Tracey, I hope she's not in too much pain.

I pray for her too. On a spiritual note, make sure that she makes peace with God before she dies... asking Jesus to come into her heart as her saviour. All the best for you and your family too, it can't be easy.
xx

Anonymous said...

Life without your Mum is never the same, but she will always be with you, in more ways than you can imagine right now.

Wendy & Mitch G. said...

Tracy - We were so very sorry to learn about your mom. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Linda said...

Tracy,
I will be thinking of you. I lost my mom to lung cancer almost 4 years ago. Just soak up the moments with her.

Elizabeth Love said...

Thinking of you Tracy. Thanks for so openly sharing about your mother. Much love.

Cath Sheard said...

Take care of yourself during this hard time, and know that your loving memories will sustain you in the days and weeks ahead.

Anonymous said...

I am a lurker, and also Tracys sister, I just have to say thanks to everyone because I am touched deeply by the support you all have given my sister and family, THANKS EVERYONE!

Tracy said...

I have to second what my sister said, thanks everyone for your comments regarding my mom and our family, It has meant so much to us, especially my mother who truly does love all the attention:) She may be really sick but she perked up a bit when we told her how many comments came in!

Bob said...

My blessings to you, your mom and your family. Thanks also for being so generous in sharing your art and life.