Playing Defense

Two Poles, 2008, Oil on Panel, 9x18

Well, I was hoping to get a bit more work done in the last week or so, but it turns out that I really needed to take a few days off. I have been struggling with the paintings I have going. Maybe it's not noticeable to others, maybe it is, but I am not getting "it" in them, whatever "it" is. (The one above isn't one of them, this one is ok) When I got back from Vermont I was so happy to get back to the studio. It felt great at first but then I began to question myself. While I was actually painting. I began having these imaginary conversations with critics defending my image choices, my colors, my decision to sell my work and on and on. I began to second guess myself and to think that maybe I should just shake it all up and completely change gears, like so many of the artists said in Vermont, and just make art for art's sake. I can't deny that a part of me is intrigued with the thought of doing that-just walking away from landscapes and realism and color and just do something completely different. But the thing is I really don't want to do that. I want to keep expressing myself through the landscapes and structures, because I still have so much more to say.

So there.

I am going to keep going. It's back to work today and I am done defending myself to um, myself. Anyway, I get to do what I want.

(but since I admit to being interested in the idea of changing things up, I will fool around with some different things on the side, just for fun, JUST FOR FUN)

Question of the Day

Soft Curves, 2007, Oil on Birch Panel, 16x20

Nat asked me an interesting question the other day in my comments section.

Does reading someone else's interpretation of your work change how you would think about it or talk about it?

I had a flip response ready (No, because no one ever writes about me, excepting these critiques of course.) but decided to hold off responding for a bit. And so for the last few days I have been thinking about whether I am, would be, or should be influenced by other's interpretations of my paintings.

I guess I could change how I think or especially, how I talk about my work because of a critique. And maybe I should, especially in some cases when the observations are incredibly perceptive. I certainly struggle with talking and describing my work in an in depth manner, mostly because I work so instinctively, so it sure would be nice to have some help. AND some new words.

Unfortunately though, those words and interpretations wouldn't be mine. They wouldn't be from my heart and I suspect they would not ring true if I were to say them. And I have to make a real effort NOT to think of what a reviewer may have said or will say, good or bad, while I am actually working or that will really throw me off and out of my zone.

So I guess the answer is a reluctant no.

BUT, the whole review/critique thing does give me some added confidence, at least if it's positive. If it were negative I would buck up and work harder. Or maybe I'd just take to my bed and only eat chocolate and potato chips. Heh. Either way, having someone consider my work so carefully does feel very gratifying and gives it a bit more meaning and affirmation.

Does that even make sense?